Lack of a woman like me

I'm an almost 22-year old from Brazil hit by past ant ongoing situations who have to do with my addiction to masturbation, but not exactly porn, and my desire do overcome it.

I have interest in Journalism. As there is no academic course where I live and around since 2015, when I graduated from High School, I spend my days at home writing for my blog about local journalism (I'll send the URL through the e-mail address of who want to know it) and contributing for local media. It's what I like to do every day, even in special ones, crushing with pleasure other people's expectations that I face life too normally as them.

I was born with visual impairment and, in my early childhood, shared together with my mother and my brother economic and emotional problems due to my father's alcoholism. Now I associate this moments to my outrage with the slavery promoted for mass culture to wich most people accepts to abide by concerning sexual immorality, drinking, smoking, excessive concern with appearance in social media and any occasion where these items are. Inside my family and in my future academic and work enviromments, I want to gain proeminence trough my productions on local Journalism of contents about news from my region, my country and the world that atract my atention, where in university, in a newsroom or at home, regardless of its utility in studying and working routines and even in any entertaining dates.

I have as one of the goals to be reached this way to arouse passion that can led to a serious relationships in an also serious, introvert woman that get closer to me for academic and work reasons. Often I masturbate during romantic fantasies related to it or also in remembrance of people of both genders who praise my ideas without erotic bias. Many times tbe will to masturbate comes when I observe in internet images of these people or the ones wich portrait with stereotypes the type of spouse that I wish.

This habit disturbs my intentions of agilely conclude articles and search for informations to be used in the future ones. I started it, in fact, due to emotional disorders causaed for one among three girls out of my actual requests who dallied me at school years ago. There were situations in wich for even a week without direct my affective energies into masturbation.

 

Taking a shower, as I did minutes ago, is one of the moments who strenghten my power to give more time to my article writings and search of content on local journalism than the sexual urges!

 

Essa atualização e pra você

Essa atualização e pra você por envolver os costumes afetivos do nosso país.

Fiquei semanas sem me masturbar graças a um pouco de atenção querecebi de uma amiga da minha mâe.


A mulher veio visitar minha mãe e meu irmão no dia 5 acompanhada de um dos filhos, qie é pedagogo e da minha faixa etária. Ela também tem um filho deficiente e, além de ser viúva, tinha uma filha que morreu de dengue e deixou uma neta criança pra ela cuidar.

Falei com ambos dos meus interesses jornalísticos e do meu inconformismo com a rotulahem de comportamentos do tipo do meu como autismo ou outros distúrbios num país que valoriza a aparência em detrimento â virtude mental e banaliza os relacionamentos sérios. A mulher ria, dizia concordar com parte do que eu dizia e me paparicava afetivamente, sentando perto de mim, se inclinando perto do meu ombro, `acariciando minha cabeça, me abraçando e me beijando!

Embora ainda não dê para afirmar que essa mulher esteja se sentindo atraída por mim e ela não faça parte do perfil de mulher ideal que expliquei acima em inglês,, esse intenso carinho se aproximou do que espero há anos.