Getting Married

First, congratulations on the up coming wedding.
You will need to keep your mind occupied. Don't be alone, find some way to be around people. Exercise and get rid of energy.

 

If she loves you she will stay with you
You have to tell her
And I am sure she will help you because you’re coming before marriage and telling her.
You will go through shame and continue to hide this secret if you get married before telling her
Moreover, If she finds out later on (extremely possible), then you’re screwed

 

Congrats! Implement the filters and safeguards so you have as little exposure to it as possible. Then hit the gym, call a friend, be social, go for walks, etc. when you get the urges. And sometimes you'll just have to accept the discomfort of the urges and the anxiety and say "bring it, it's ok, I'm anxious now, and what of it". I hear it gets better at 90 days. just keep going

 

Tough it out. I’m divorced now. Porn will eventually ruin your marriage. The sooner you embrace and commit to nofap the happier you’ll be and the better your marriage will be. Porn addiction ruins relationships.

 

I agree. Wish I would have postponed. But here we are so many years later still dealing with porn and now a messed up marriage.

 

Listen to @GhostWriter he is wise. Addictions are one of the leading causes of divorce and if you aren't in recovery and healthy prior to marriage ... honestly, it's not going to end well. If she loves you she will understand and wait (and she will later be so thankful for waiting).

Trust me, I found out about my husband's porn addiction on our one year anniversary of being together, which was the day he was going to tell me whether or not he wanted to marry me. I told him I was still committed and he said he had no idea. For the longest time I thought he changed his mind about marrying me, but really he just didn't think he deserved to marry me and wanted to be better before marrying me. Be a gentleman and postpone it.

 

Does she know you watch porn? I of course would definitely disclose before marriage personally. Btw, you don't have to be perfect to get married. You two work together as a team. Just because you are married, that doesn't mean there are no problems to worry. Good luckb

 

Whatcha ya gonna do when ya married and ya boo doesn't wanna have it wit ya? Look at XXX? Fap?

Me would call off da wedding. Get hoovered and if ya boo is still around get married.

 

This. You can't listen to these people telling you to postpone. You are a good person, and you will recover from this addiction. 90% of millennial men watch porn religiously and still get married—you are putting yourself in the top 10% of men merely for attempting nofap! Your heart is in the right place, and you have hope. The people telling you to postpone are suggesting you are hopeless. It's not true.

By the way, I am getting married next month too. I am freaking out as well (on a 75-day streak now). Just get yourself on a good streak and you will experience the physical benefits of nofap. Exercise a lot. Meditate. You will be fine!

By the way folks, you can't just "postpone" a wedding when tens of thousands of dollars have already been spent, guests have bought airfare, etc, simply because you have a minor porn problem. My goodness!

 

I think your post is entirely mean spirited, unhelpful, and totally in bad faith. This man is not going to postpone his wedding because some anonymous bloke, who doesn't even know him, suggests it on a forum.

I don't know him either, but I'm not the one telling him to make an insane decision, with no evidence other than he has a minor porn problem (just like the vast majority of young men in 2018) that he is demonstrably working on. "struggling with porn from time to time" sounds minor to me. Let's agree to disagree I guess. Have a nice day.

 

I think MOST important is to not lead a spouse blindly into an addiction YOU don’t even understand , never mind your soon to be spouse should ABSOLUTELY know what she’s signing up for . A lot of us on here are YEARS in . There was just a thread asking if the woman would marry their partner again knowing what they know now . MOST said NO . We aren’t talking about a “ minor porn problem “ most on here see it for what it is “ an addiction “

 

My wedding was also planned for next months. My SO disclosed his PA to me about 6 months ago and I chose to postpone the wedding and lost a lot of $. Honestly, I was so distressed by this new information and I nearly called the whole thing off! But honestly, I am so grateful that he told me BEFORE a walked down the aisle and made a vow to him in front of all my friends and family. If you want a healthy marriage, it’s imperative you be open and honest. Otherwise you will absolutely kill the trust. Our wedding is now planned for June next year and we’re better for it.

 

I used to think it was a "minor" thing, and that I could deal with it any old time. It nearly cost me my marriage. I don't even like to think about that. And even worse the pain on my wife's face, the damage I could see I had done, the trust I had lost.
I can understand the not understanding of a blunt and forthright suggestion.....but, believe me, Ghost Writer said it from his heart.

 

That was an incredibly brave thing for you to do !!

 

Thank you! It was tough and a lot of people were affected by it. But at the end of the day, our marriage is about the two of us and we had to do what was right for us. If I had only found out AFTER we got married... well, I don’t know if I could recover from that level of betrayal. It’s only fair that your SO know exactly who she is marrying.