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New Member in Hong Kong

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Red_Toaster, Aug 2, 2018.

  1. Aug 2, 2018 #1
    Red_Toaster

    Red_Toaster Fapstronaut

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    Hey all,

    22 year old virgin guy living in Hong Kong, moved here alone from the UK about 7 months ago to see if I could - turns out I can, my mental health is in a pretty good place right now.
    Stumbled across NoFap on reddit and thought "oh shit my bin is overflowing with socks and tissues, I haven't had sex with any of the girls I've met out here and I'm not sure I've even grown as a person since I left home".
    Just finished day 2 and realizing how much time I've spent watching porn since I've been here. Is giving up PM-ing really going to make me less anxious and insecure about dating? I've been thinking about porn all day, I feel like I can push through and do this if I put my mind to it but I'd better do something pretty fucking impressive with all the free time I have from not-jerking-it.

    Good luck to everyone else starting out :)

    Red_Toaster
     
    Red_Toaster, Aug 2, 2018
    Red_Toaster, Aug 2, 2018
    #1
  2. Aug 2, 2018 #2
    Lefty2

    Lefty2 Fapstronaut

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    I’m older than you are but I can understand how you feel. I was a virgin until about your age. Dated a lot. I guess I was too respectful for my own good:) Seriously- there is no such thing as too respectful. I would say find a guy partner and get out there. When I was dating they didn’t have online dating like they do now. You have a whole world open to you online that I never did, that “ isn’t” porn. If I were you, and perhaps someone with more experience in this area can chime in, find a Match.com or a good quality dating site that isn’t about hooking up but rather finding someone to form a relationship with. I would be amazed if that didn’t help.
     
    Lefty2, Aug 2, 2018
    Lefty2, Aug 2, 2018
    #2
  3. Aug 2, 2018 #3
    Red_Toaster

    Red_Toaster Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, thanks for the reply :) to be honest, I'm planning on leaving HK soon and starting a relationship while travelling seems to be paradoxical; none of the girls I've dated this year - even the two I shared a bed with - didn't want to have sex with me for fear of getting attached. I guess it's better to take that as a compliment? I'm sure dating sites and apps work great for people staying in one place but if travelling is so important to me then it's probably about time I dropped the fantasy of losing my virginity in a meaningful way and just tried to build enough confidence to have some fun - it's got to be better than jerking off until I stumble into someone who really wants me, right?
     
    Red_Toaster, Aug 2, 2018
    Red_Toaster, Aug 2, 2018
    #3
  4. Aug 4, 2018 #4
    Lefty2

    Lefty2 Fapstronaut

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    Travelling all the time must be tough as far as the relationship situation. Myself, I Have been married for 25 years but my relationship with porn goes back to my single days. I am looking forward to rebooting and helping me get the spark back for the bedroom and my wife. Your situation is different. I wouldn’t advocate sleeping around but it doesn’t sound like that is what you are necessarily talking about. I had a pretty decent dating life when I was single but I do regret not more seriously playing the field when I was single. Perhaps it would have prevented the porn thing for me, I don’t know- the curiosity about other partners- real or virtual. I’d say get your self out there. Have fun. Be responsible so you don’t do anything you regret. But from what I have read here, human connection really helps in breaking away from porn.
     
    Lefty2, Aug 4, 2018
    Lefty2, Aug 4, 2018
    #4
    Red_Toaster likes this.
  5. Aug 6, 2018 #5
    Red_Toaster

    Red_Toaster Fapstronaut

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    You're right, to be honest I don't think sleeping around makes many people feel less lonely. I'd like to think I'm good enough at talking to girls by now that I don't need porn or tinder to connect with people.
    Thanks for taking the time to reply, obviously I don't yet understand this 'spark' I've heard so much about but I hope you get it back!
     
    Red_Toaster, Aug 6, 2018
    Red_Toaster, Aug 6, 2018
    #5
    Lefty2 likes this.

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