Hello my fellow Fapstronauts

I am Fiesoduck (german antagonist of the DarkwingDuck series), 25 years old, male, single and started the rebooting two days ago.
I grew up with porn. I was always curious about sex and had my first experiences about the age of 10 I guess. Interestingly with boys although I can say it was just a expression of curiosity. Since the age of 13 I started to consume porn.
In my early teenage years I only had some experiences with girls. Like a bit of kissing and touching always with the need of drinking huge amounts of alcohol. My first time was at the age of 18 at a festival. I already struggled with it. Couldnt came although she really tried but the pressure in my head was to big. The following years I hooked up with a few girls but always sufferd the same problem: I could fuck all day but no orgasm was achieved. The biggest issue with that is actually not that I missed my pleasure but the disappointment of these girls. They didn't understand and I couldnt explain.

This all changed when I got together with my first and only girlfriend in the age of 20. I knew her for quiet a time - about 5 years - and it took us months to come together since I am a introvert and she was a shy little girl. We connected so good together that I had no doubts about sex and it all worked great. But I still watched porn. She couldnt satisfy my sexual desire and was very upset about it. But we got along with that. We shared a great summer together and fell in love. Poorly I had problems reaching my life goals and she outgrew me. The breakup was horrible.

I flew to a different city studying some economics. I thought I could impress her with that. But then depression kicked in and my whole life changed to a misareble piece of shit. I sufferd all day and night always thinking about her degrading myself for failing holding her. I stayed in my room. Playing video games, eating pizza and masturbating like a maniac. This took me 3 fucking years. Years of my early twenties commonly known as the golden years.

I came back last year after I realized how damaging my study was. I used to be a social guy once, now only a few people are left who I can call my friends. The lonelyness is killing me. I could manage to find a small time job and went back to school this summer. I want to achieve a better degree to study what I desire. But there are still some problems left.

I cant have satisfying conversations anymore. When someone talks to me I have problems to response since I am always captured in my own mind (sideeffects of isolating myself for so long i guess). Normally I go with 'yes', 'haha', smiling and other meaningless gestures and phrases. No wonder I cant make new friends this just bores the shit out of everyone. It sucks! I have so many things to tell why the hell I cant share them. I assume this is what you guys call the 'brain fog'. And also many other weaknesses like low selfesteem, procrastination, cynisism etc...

Well there are alot of details I could add but this already got to long.
How I said I already took some steps into the right direction and I hope the rebooting will give me something back what I would call 'mojo' or to be a bit more drastic personality. Even if not I know its the right thing to do. I counted to long on porn this relationship shall be over for now and ever!

Now you guys know alot of things I dont tell anyone. I am looking forward to interchange with you guys in the future.

Sincerly
Fiesoduck