Depression is ruining my life

So two things. If you're feeling this way, get help. I have had depression come in waves, especially after a traumatic event, like when my mom died, or we had a kid die on us (I used to drive an ambulance.) I understand that you're looking for SOMETHING to make you feel better, and your problems may be deeper than dopamine release. If you have suicidal ideations, get help. Just talking to someone about how your feeling will help. And related to that, thing two, lately, Ive found that touching people really helps me stay focused on my nofap goals. Not sexually (I mean, not specifically.) It's been a few months since Ive had a lover, but I notice that I can go days or weeks without another human touching me, and that specifically has correlated with heightened depression, feelings of worthlessness, and relapse rate.

If you have family around, see them more often than you usually. Dont skimp on that hug. And get some help.