Hello, Im a 27 years old boy. I PMO'ed since i was 13 years old. I did 4/5 times a week and sometimes 3/4 times a day. Im now for about 6 months on nofap! I have such beautiful benefits. I don't watch porn anymore, dont masturbate anymore, dont watch porn and masturbate anymore and i also dont objective women like a sex toy anymore. I see porn and masturbation as something disgusting and can control my urges. But i have the next problem. In the past i knew a girl who was like me crazy about sex. She was my sexfriend and we did everything we saw on porn!! We tried to copy all the things we saw on porn. We also talked the whole day on whatsapp about sex and did also sexting. Since i started with nofap i stopped the contact with her. I blocked her on whatsapp, on facebook and all the social media. I also changed my number so that i was know for 100% i dont have any contact with her anymore. Now the problem is that i sometimes think about her and esspecially thoughts about all the sex that i had with her. Out of nowhere some scenes that i have with her pop out in my mind!! Its verry dificult to get rid of this thoughts.. What is this??? And how can i get of thiss...please help me and give me advice en what your thoughts are about this.. Thank you verry much!!
My personal thoughts on this are: Your mind is still clinging on to past memories you have to be patient and control yourself. if you do that then the thoughts will go away just like that I have the same issue of old porn images in my head that I watched a long time ago, but i am patient and don't give in because sometimes it tempts to relapse again The point is that you need to embrace these thoughts. Like saying: "Okay i thought of that so what?" and then move on just like that
i guess you have no other girl now besides that one you deleted from your life, so your brain is trying to get all the pleasures back. if you had other girl that would be nice but this isnt the case. so long long, very long runs in the moments of pain you get control over the conscious mind.
if something happens and you see that girl again, you can tell her like, I'm not into that stuff anymore, idk, I think it's better to avoid that kind of person, and you don't need to, you want to, now simple advice is, stop thinking about it, but then you think about it even more, just do something and focus on something else,
forget she you go forward not back your brain look for some pleasure maybe its time to find a new girlfriend. BUT dont make the BIG mistake to relapse stay strong man. with time it will go away and a new thoughts will pop up my experince on nofap. have 200+ days streaks
I feel sad for the girl. This is what can happen in all sorts of addiction-based relationships. When I got clean from weed I had to almost "ditch" all my friends who I smoked with because we only hung out on a basis of getting high. I feel bad about it but when the relationship is just based on getting high together one person is eventually gonna want to "get clean" and so they're gonna have to abandon the other. I've worked a lot on my abandonment issues since 2013 when I got into recovery. In fact this week was a big week for trait 12 which is all about abandonment issues. I didn't know a lot about abandonment issues when I first tried to quit weed. I probably wouldn't abandon people the same way. I could abandon PMO because it's not exactly a conscious person I am dealing with, just videos (albiet, of conscious people). With conscious people I think its important to consider them as humans. But at the same time if I'd have kept hanging out with my weed smoking friends I might have never got clean. I wish I had a woman to "do it" with sometimes. And maybe more of a relationship than that.