60 days complete - no arousal method

Today is my 60th Day with no PMO. There have been good days and bad days, but since I committed myself to this journey in early April I have not had a relapse.

For me, the most important factor for success has been my prayer life. Followed closely by my morning meditation and exercise routines.

From the very beginning when I knew I wanted to shake this addiction, I asked God to let me see all women as his daughters. I have two young daughters of my own, and this was a prayer I could connect with personally. Every time I would “notice” a woman, or start to fantasize about my wife/STBX, or P, I would say a Hail Mary and bring my mind back to the present. So far, it’s worked very well at controlling the urges.

I can’t really identify too many superpowers. I’m in sales, so my eye contact and confidence and other interpersonal skills have had a lot of practice. My brain fog is better, but I’m still not in the flow the way I was before I met my wife. Who knows, maybe I can’t get back there until my divorce is final, or we’re back together.

I guess that’s the other piece of my story, is that this nofap goal is a sort of add-on goal to my potential divorce. It gives me something else to focus on, but realistically so much of my mental and emotional energy is consumed by wondering what my marriage will, or will not be, in a year.

Regardless of that sadness, I am proud I made it to 60 days, and am looking forward to the next 90 day mark and then onto 120.

 

Yup, no problem in that area anymore. However, I’m still very careful on how long I’ll let my mind wander on sexual fantasies. Any more than a few minutes doesn’t feel safe, so I distract myself with other thoughts or activities if they seem to linger. As I just posted in my journal, I recently used the panic button, which was the first time I had to in weeks. At the start, I remember I used it daily.