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Waking up Aroused? Morning Wood?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by _Xavier_, May 28, 2018.

  1. May 28, 2018 #1
    _Xavier_

    _Xavier_ Fapstronaut

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    Does anyone else wake up several hours early only to be bombarded by thought, after thought, after thought? I was trying to meditate, but it what was like a damn air raid. It finally wore off after two hours.

    After long-term PMO abstinence is morning wood included with arousal or is it mostly dissociated from it?
     
    _Xavier_, May 28, 2018
    _Xavier_, May 28, 2018
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  2. May 28, 2018 #2
    PMO addict

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    Hi @_Xavier_ I'm glad you mentioned it. I get "air raids" of sexual thoughts when meditating too. It can literally take up the entire meditation some times. Maybe its good to try to meditate anyway but for me I find its too troubling sometimes or I feel like it would overpower me to relapse. I can't explain why.

    I don't get it in the morning because I'm focused on dream recall in the morning so I am able to block other thoughts. However if I meditate later in the day thats when the sexual thoughts get to me. Porn will play out in my mind or I'll imagine being with a woman. (If I'm lucky I imagine a woman! The HOCD thoughts during meditation are even more troubling.)

    So, I keep thinking that once I get like a year it will go away because its not being reinforced (through MO to the fantasy, creating reward system) but for today i just gotta kinda acknowledge it
     
    PMO addict, May 28, 2018
    PMO addict, May 28, 2018
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  3. May 28, 2018 #3
    _Xavier_

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    Thank you for sharing. Do you follow a meditation program? I occasionally use the Headspace app for some guided meditation. I applaud you for going through those thoughts with meditation. Is dream recall trying to remember dreams that you do not recollect in the morning? That sounds interesting.

    I asked because I have learned that morning wood is normal when not on PMO and testosterone is higher in the morning for men as well. I imagine it would be less invasive and more of a positive drive towards maybe a wife or girlfriend at that point.

    As for the HOCD (which I googled. Hope I got the definition right!), I remember having some bouts of it a number of times, but it was there. It was not severe though. I immediately though of this podcast that I listened to a couple months ago. I don't particularly remember the details of it, but I hope it is of use to you in some way. Was there some sort of traumatizing hazing or other event before adulthood?

     
    _Xavier_, May 28, 2018
    _Xavier_, May 28, 2018
    #3
  4. May 28, 2018 #4
    PMO addict

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    Yep. Dream recall is trying to remember more dreams. I don't use any meditation apps right now. Like this afternoon I tried to meditate and it was all fantasy. I remember they said that though. They likened meditation to a bowl with sediment floating in it. Even if the water is murky the whole time, and the sediment never settles, its better to meditate and watch it than to not meditate at all. But I haven't had many meditations where everything is just settled to the bottom of the fish bowl and its all clear.
    Yeah in general morning wood is said to be normal when doing no PMO. I was never too concerned. I was out for a walk in the woods today, and had some sexual thoughts, and had "wood". So I mean I know my system is working. I can't seem to stop the thoughts though.

    Thanks, when I get around to listening to the podcast maybe I will message you about it. I did have some events in my childhood that precipitated it. I'm working on those in counseling now but its not easy to handle. I tend to avoid dealing with it alot. I wonder if I healed it all the intrusive thoughts would go away.
     
    PMO addict, May 28, 2018
    PMO addict, May 28, 2018
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  5. May 28, 2018 #5
    John Lee Smith

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    No I never had that experience.
    All I can say is that when it comes, distract your mind.
     
    John Lee Smith, May 28, 2018
    John Lee Smith, May 28, 2018
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  6. May 28, 2018 #6
    _Xavier_

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    I'm very, very sorry. I know counseling and facing it can be very difficult, but there are people that can make it out of that hell. I just saw a quote, I think on Twitter, but it was Winston Churchill who said, "When you're going through hell, keep going." It struck me as an ingenius quote when facing adversity.

    As far as I have learned through the Headspace guided meditation app, trying to stop the thoughts is not going to work well. I don't know your level of medition (I'm a complete noob), but it might give you a good direction. If you decide its not how you like to do it, thats all the better too.

    Good analogy. I think only once or twice I had a good meditation like that, but it really can't be forced I've learned.
     
    _Xavier_, May 28, 2018
    _Xavier_, May 28, 2018
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  7. May 28, 2018 #7
    _Xavier_

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    The problem is, its already very distracted and it knows what it wants and it knows when I'm bullshitting. But I try to meditate. Didn't cave so thats a great relief. It is very interesting though. I've had 3 "relapses" (consisting of one M) since May 3rd and they were all in the very early morning after waking up almost zombie like. I never used to do anything at that time.
     
    _Xavier_, May 28, 2018
    _Xavier_, May 28, 2018
    #7

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