How do you deal with anger?

I think you bring up a good point here of dealing with things that seem to frustrate us during this nofap journey. I used to think a lot about why I wasn't born handsome during this journey, but I found out that the more I think about it, the more frustrated it gets me, and the more it leads me into PMO because I'm fed-up with this world. However, I realized that PMO doesn't solve anything, and thus we need to TURN to something else in those emergency cases. If you haven't meditated, I would highly recommend you to try meditation. It helps to maintain a balance of our mind between what we want to accomplish and what we are able to accomplish. It is right to set goals, but when we are unable to execute some of our goals, it only hurts in making us worse. Essentially, if we have a high ego, we become selfish and dedicate ourself to porn because we want to enjoy pleasure "only by ourselves" and not with other people.

 

Anger sucks the life out of you! I've spent more brain cycles on anger than I care to. The only thing that worked for me is to allow myself to be angry, then let it go. Sounds easy, it's NOT. Another thing is to remove yourself from the situation around which the anger rises. For me, it was work and colleagues, but I was at a point where I could retire and leave that stuff behind. But still... even now when I think of the individuals, I get just a little pissed.

There are lots of books and resources out there on managing anger. Don't let it get the best of you. It's a waste of time.

 

This sounds a lot like me from a very long time ago.
Yes, it was indescribably frustrating and it sucked. But the alternative would have been to go on being a socially crippled virgin and feel like a failure as a man. There is a whole other set of frustrations there, right? Compulsive masturbating made staying in that rut way too easy. The frustration and anger I felt in NoFap was the fuel that drove me out of that hole. It took a lot longer than 19 days. But when you have gone for a long while where the only "sex" you have had is 2 or 3 wet dreams a month, all of the sudden walking up to that girl and saying hello not only doesn't seem so hard, it feels like the most important thing in the world.
You can use this as fuel to drive you to where you want to go.

 

I would like to think that I am the last person here who would try to tell you what to do. My personal bias is to encourage you to continue with NoFap despite the difficulties. Because I know how it helped lift me out of the dysfunctional life I was in. And your situation sounds so much like where I was before I began to work to change. But you are not me and what was the right choice for me may not be what is best for you.

I tend to see choices not so much in terms of good or bad, right and wrong, but cost and benefit. Is the cost of a particular choice worth the benefit I feel I get from it? For me, the easy pleasure and comfort of masturbating was not worth the price I paid in emotional pain and loneliness. The struggles I endured in abstinence were worth it to me for the reward of a fuller better and REAL sex life I got to in the end.

I like to go running for exercise. I can stay at the same pace and get a good workout, that's fine. But it is only when I push myself out of my comfort zone, make it difficult, a challenge, that my fitness improves.

I really feel where you are. I'm sorry I don't have some magic,"Just do this and everything will be perfect for you" advice. I hope this helps in some small way.

You phrased that perfectly. It SEEMS impossible. But it is possible. I know it and a lot of other guys here know it too.

 

This is probably a bigger deal than you think. Maybe you have adrenal fatigue. Go ahead and sleep. PMO addiction wears down on the body and mind a lot and so you probably need some sleep. If you're already tired and then putting caffeine on top of that, it will definitely give you mood swings like anger. BUT quitting caffeine isn't easy. However the agitation caused by caffeine can cause some people to relapse because caffeine creates a lot of anxiety. I haven't had caffeine in over 4 years and I still get angry. but I wanted to remind you this part of your post since its probably a bigger deal than you think.

Yeah I get pretty frustrated so far too. And the times I made it to day 19 it also brought up alot of anger by then. But those are your feelings so its good that they're coming up. Feel it to heal it

Why do you need sex?

Anger and horniness went together a lot for me. They are both very "RED" emotions. Like "seeing RED" or being ON FIRE. So I think they're closely linked.

that can be learned over the course of time. but PMO won't teach it to you hanging out on the forums will teach you more social skills than PMO

PMO didnt end up doing that for me. PMO took over my life and took up all my time. I even lost interest in my hobbies. My idea was that PMO would relieve me of some distracting thoughts so I could focus but actually it reduced my brain power as a whole.

Then you're in the right place It is good that you are facing all this now. NoFap didn't make you depressed or anxious though. Depression and anxiety probably existed before you even started using PMO. I learned this when I first gave up weed that lots of people with addictions are actually self medicating conditions like anxiety and depression... LATER i learned further, that these conditions point to post traumatic stress.

So its definitely good that you're facing all this. I relapsed a lot because it felt OVERWHELMING and there was no way I could bear the discomfort. If that happens to you, it's okay. Don't be mad at yourself. Just be mindful on your next attempt that these things may arise and start front-loading your recovery. Or you can start now. To start addressing your core issues that are underneath your PMO addiction.

I can definitely empathize with what you're going through. I hope you make it through the tough times.

 

guys here is my question to all of you above...........
i try to repress my negative emotions like anger and lust..........i know its good for the long run.........but sometimes it makes me very sad
the reason why i avoid getting angry is because i dont want to get in any physical fight........and many great fighters has said that "avoiding a fight is winning a fight".........because of this i have even faced bullying
now come the lust...........i know that this is right.......but the thing is when i realised that someone is noticing me then i just stop looking at them.......am i doing the right thing
p.s- i have been involved in few fights in past(in school days when i was 15 years old)...........and i have never been in any relationship..........

 

Hi,
I can understand your situation , i was on anger , anxiety , on the first days of nofap the first thing i can advice is to quit caffeine and that's depends on you , try to change you breakfast habit try to eats something more healthy like omelettes ( eggs) , black chocolate ( that's gone increase your energy) , nuts , eat some bananas is good for you and gone help you to reduce anxiety , when you feel angry , tired or on depression avoid sodas or something else rich with water , drink much water , eat some natural yogurt with dried food , eat some some apricot that gone boost your energy for the rest of day , and i completely understand you envy to have sex , we are human and we need to release this energy , try to not focus on this issue for too long ,try to make some order in your life , if you need another question don't hesitate
Hope you look further about your objectives
Good luck and stay strong