I feel stuck (I'm on day 80)

I feel angry at this criticism of my post, and I actually disagree with this statement. I am not sure 100% why I feel angry but I will process it AFK and maybe come back to clarify.

It is something like... Being overly focused on "the answers on moving forward" to begin with... maybe trying to shut down the person from processing old feelings in favor of "moving forward" which I don't care about.

I guess its hard to explain but I felt really angry at your criticism of my post. I will just stop straining my head to explain it for now and maybe try again later.

 

Really? What is the secret of getting out of a depression that you can share with the millions of people having it?

 

This sounds good. When you're making music you feel a bit productive right? And when you're gardening with your grandpa you're making a connection, which is the opposite of what we do when indulge in PMO-type activities (including watching the ladies -- if you find yourself staring, its good idea to 'bounce and starve' your eyes. Remind yourself to 'Bounce' your eyes away, and 'Starve' them by keeping them away. It sounds insultingly simple, but its quite effective).

I can really relate dude. I stopped PMO-ing a while ago (with the occasional relapse here and there), but in the meantime have found it difficult to get back into meaningful activities, especially with others. A 'baby-step' approach might work well for you and me. Maybe stick to a couple activities on a regular schedule, but don't worry about being too 'productive' at them. Its enough just to be engaging with them. I've heard the same said about meditation: it doesn't matter if you suck at it, all that matters is that you do it.

Its not going to be easy to connect with people or to engage with outside activities if you're not used to it, so if you find yourself going back to the video games for a bit, don't beat yourself up for it. We all have old patterns and they don't go away overnight, and doing somethings by yourself is okay, you'll just have to sort what those things are out. Its a process. It might be that playing video games once in a while to chill out is an okay activity for yourself as long as it doesn't consume you. All the best.

 

Oh now I remember. Its because to me the priority is understanding the FULL depth of the trauma and existing condition. Not moving forward. In a sense, understanding full depth of trauma and condition is moving forward. Yes, thats it. So, I think you're wrong about, the answers in moving forward not coming from there. I think all the answers in moving forward are in understanding the full depth of the trauma. It makes me angry that people want to block people from comprehending the trauma by rushing them to move forward. Um... I'm still angry.

 

There no criticisms ?? I was adding to you great post from a personal point of view..you have chosen a nugget and turned it into something im afraid... I was talking about the blaming process of therapy... and it being relevant ... but not the overall way forward and just as a heads up from my perspective for the initial poster.. nothing more.. maybe im wrong but I have been and still do try and blame people... and its natural but ive realised its not healthy to keep doing..
Sorry if it seemed I was getting at you.. I was applauding your post!

PLEASE RE-READ Below its just my opinion (thats all) no criticisms

from previous post:
Personally I know for a while when I became more aware of my patterns,issues and past trauma's part of me wanted to blame people for this and that.. feeling that in many respects people had done this too me and were pulling my strings at every chance... and in some respects that is true.. and im still in the early days of sorting through stuff myself.. but I can feel like that still at times!
And I think that its actually quite natural too feel like that when we go deeper..
^^^^^
BUT also just to say.. the answers in moving forward for me dont really seem to come from there (ie blaming)..
but all the same its still very good to voice how you feel as you progress...thats where 'person centered' type counsellors can be very helpful... but obviously that's all only relevant if the initial poster does decide he needs to take up a program or look at the different services available that may help him.

Basically what Im trying to say to the poster is... wanting to blame people,situations and anything is natural and part of the therapy journey.. but from my perspective this is a stage and I was giving a heads up about this to him.. as it can make things seem counter productive and make you confront people etc which can make things worse.. but its a personal journey.. nobody has the answers for this person.. only suggestions coming from personal experience.