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Any help or advice? How to deal with being upset when you look at attractive girls

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by James0224, Apr 11, 2018.

  1. Apr 11, 2018 #1
    James0224

    James0224 Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone,

    For a very long time I have suffered with being upset when I look at attractive girls. I judge girls on physical beauty WAY too much. I have gone after physically attractive girls in the past and sometimes they have treated me like shit, but I still go after them. It is almost like, no matter how ugly their personality is, their physical beauty makes me yearn to be with them - I judge them on their physical appearance rather than their personality (which is in fact WAY more important!)

    Today I went to a club. There were two VERY attractive girls there. As soon as I saw them, I started to feel sad. I felt sad that I did not know them personally, that I was a stranger to them, that they probably did not think anything of me, even that I was not their boyfriend (even though I have never talked to them - just been around them and judged them on their phsyical beauty -which is silly!). It even meant that for the rest of the club (1 hour and 30mins) I felt like I was in a constant struggle, it was like the only thing I could think about, it was obsessive, and just made me more and more sad. The funny thing is that one of the attractive girls, very attractive, was actually being a little rude to me - yet as soon as I got home I did not care, I just wanted to look at her more.

    So, do any of you have any advice, tips or personal experience that you do not mind sharing to help me and other NoFap users to overcome this issue?

    Basically, I get upset when I see attractive girls because I wish they were my girlfriend, and their personality, no matter how unattractive it actually is, seems to not matter to me - but it should!

    Thank you and I wish you all the best on your recovery
     
    James0224, Apr 11, 2018
    James0224, Apr 11, 2018
    #1
  2. Apr 11, 2018 #2
    robz13

    robz13 Fapstronaut

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    I think that's just biology; we are sexual beings by nature. The urge to go out and procreate is literally hardwired into our DNA. As for solving it, as I see it, you have two options:
    1. Fulfill yourself in order to stop caring as much, or
    2. Succeed with getting an attractive girlfriend
    For fulfilling yourself, do things which make your life wholesome. Whatever you like to do, do it. There's a lot of self-improvement info. on this site and on the internet as a whole. Trust me, when you start to fill your time with meaningful things, you'll have less time to worry about women. And ironically...

    #1 actually gives you a very high chance of succeeding with women. Girls love confident guys who have direction in their lives. Doing this will guarantee you success here.

    Good luck!
     
    robz13, Apr 11, 2018
    robz13, Apr 11, 2018
    #2
    James0224 and Deleted Account like this.
  3. Apr 11, 2018 #3
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    I have the same problem so instead of giving advice I'm the one who needs it. I have come to the conclusion that this problem and a whole bunch of other prpblems are just a byproduct of PM and unless I *control* this addiction, all and every other solution is nonsense.
    You can*t and wont be able to have any confidence while beating your meat.
    No hardfeelings @The_Sigma130
     
    Deleted Account, Apr 11, 2018
    Deleted Account, Apr 11, 2018
    #3

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