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Deleting and Throwing Away the P

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by CataclizMicky, Apr 8, 2018.

  1. CataclizMicky

    CataclizMicky Fapstronaut

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    So I have a question for everyone. Perhaps some have experienced this: so I’m a newcomer here. I’m on my 12th day PMO free (I think. Sometimes it doesn’t show my day count...?). So far I’ve done well and it’s already been a challenge. Within a couple days I deleted my search history, any apps I would use for P purposes, I found some dvds and threw them away, deleted some saved scenes off my computer, etc. As far as tangible P stuff goes, I’ve gotten rid of everything I can.
    However... there’s a few P websites out there for which I have a username and some saved favorites. In fact there’s two (maybe three?) sites in particular that have pages upon pages of favorites (I’m 36, been stuck in this life for awhile, I know it’s lame).
    So there’s my dilemma. I don’t really want those username accounts to exist anymore; I don’t want those favorites to exist anymore. It’s been a healthy exercise to rid myself of the P and it feels good to have them gone. It feels like a sort of ‘unfinished business’ for these accounts and collections to persevere and survive. I don’t dare actually visit these sites in an attempt to destroy them though. Not yet anyway. That risk is far too great. And I’m not even remotely close to sharing my problem with a person I know in the real world so I can’t ask a friend to do it. PLUS I’m not sure I would ever allow anyone that unrestricted of a view into my P madness, which like many of us has morphed and progressed over the years, not many for the better.

    Has anyone dealt with this issue? How? It’s not a dire need at this point. But I do feel like it’ll be too easy a fix in my more vulnerable moments to come. Like if I had to pass by the coffee shop where I used to buy my heroin all the time, ya know? (I don’t actually and never have done heroin, nor am I aware if it is routinely sold in coffee shops... I would imagine not, the baristas I’ve dealt with are usually on top of their game and rather busy with regular business. Sorry for the bad juju, coffee shops.)
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2018
    dream1990 likes this.
  2. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    I feel you. Over the last months y payed for some videos you just cannot find for free on the net. They're still there, and even though I'm determined to stop this PMO BS, I havent deleted them because my "logic" tells me that if I paid money, I should keep them. The reality is that this is not doing us any good, and the best way to beat the beast is deleting everything (videos, accounts, bookmarks, etc). And you know what? I just deleted that garbage. Your post encouraged me to do it. Thanks
     
    CataclizMicky likes this.
  3. CataclizMicky

    CataclizMicky Fapstronaut

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    Dude! Well done!
     
    ShotDunyun likes this.
  4. Marcus Aurelius

    Marcus Aurelius Fapstronaut

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    This probably isn't what you want to hear, but I deleted all of my porn accounts after I relapsed. The temporary resolve to quit that comes to me the second after I relapse made me able to go back into the sites and take care of business.

    Of course, I don't want you to relapse, so all I will say is take great caution and examine your motives for going to the porn site to delete your accounts before you go. This addiction is a crafty thing, almost like it has a mind of its own, and it will trick you into thinking you're doing something for the right reasons when in reality you just want to go back on a porn site.
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2018
    Reverent and Deleted Account like this.
  5. Nagual

    Nagual Fapstronaut

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    I use siteblock for google chrome and blocked all porn websites I ever used. Maybe thats an option for you too.
     
  6. CataclizMicky

    CataclizMicky Fapstronaut

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    Thank you guys for the advice and the encouragement!
    @Marcus Aurelius I definitely do not want to relapse but I guess that’s the one plus side if I do. Kudos to you for taking the initiative after a defeat like that.
    Best to everyone in their endeavors.
     
  7. Just be done with it. I have many paid subscriptions/ accounts to premium porn sites. There's no way I'm going back to any of them to try and delete them. I have actually tried to delete my accounts in previous relapses/reboots but was not successful. Deleting accounts isn't as easy as it once was on the internet. Especially with the porn sites; they're all the same. The first thing they do is try to offer you some "special, once in a life time" deal that just sinks you further into their world, and drains your pockets more. Then they try to persuade you to stay a few times. Then they say they'll delete your account, but never actually do. I just put their emails in my spam folder without even opening them. I had to tell my bank I lost my debit card to get a new card so that these sites can't charge me in the future. It does bother me a bit that I couldn't just delete my accounts, but just knowing that it is behind me now is peace of mind enough. It honestly sounds to me like your dark passenger is cleverly trying to lure you back to porn. Ignore it and move on. Good luck!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. CataclizMicky

    CataclizMicky Fapstronaut

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    Phenomenal advice. Ima just be done and turn my back on it then. It’ll exist but it’ll exist without me. Thanks man- that is very powerful advice.
    Also, props for the ‘dark passenger’ term.
     
  9. EthanW.

    EthanW. Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, my best advice is to just delete the usernames and passwords you have stored on your browser, and throw away any papers with usernames or passwords too. Just forget about them. Pretend they do not even exist. You're not saving anyone by going off into the site domain just to delete some galleries. It's not worth your time. Delete, throw away, destroy. It's the best insurance you can afford.
     
  10. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    I just downloaded "Spin" Browser on my phone as adviced in another thread. It truly blocks all pornographic sites (I tried to open a few). I uninstalled Chrome, I don't want to take any risks
     
  11. hezekiah

    hezekiah Fapstronaut

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    I use K9 porn site blocker and have thrown away the password. I have deleted all porn etc from my PC, similar block for my phone and tablets.
    Of course there are ways to get around it but it's troublesome and I won't. I have much more time to myself and family though. I am married and have a child. Being in Japan AND married to a Japanese women doesn't help though coz your sex life almost disappears after having kids.
    But not I have more time for my hobbies etc. I have a small music side business that makes now makes me up $$$$ a month thanks to giving up porn and working on it for 30min-60min an evening.
     
  12. CataclizMicky

    CataclizMicky Fapstronaut

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    I want to thank everyone for their insight as to my dilemma. I thoroughly appreciate the time everyone took to respond and frankly, I very much like the overall message that everyone seems to agree on.
    When I started this thread I was looking for a way to actually delete some internet P collections that exist in cyberspace so I wouldn’t be tempted. And the resounding answer I got was to simply forget about them.
    I love that.
    Fuck it.
    Don’t matter if those exist out there or not- the goal is for P to hold no power over me. No amount of deleting is going to make that happen.
    So fuck it. Fuck porn. Fuck that lifestyle. That shit’s for no one.

    Thanks everyone. Cheers.
     
    ShotDunyun likes this.

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