Get educated, get tools, and learn to love withdrawals

I wish i came upon this earlier in my life.

 

What an awesome post! I know I have a tough road ahead of me and I'm ready to face it head on, I refuse to let videos or images control my life. Thanks for this post!

 

A very informative post William, and I think I'm too much of a newbie to understand many of the points you make on this forum. but when the withdrawal comes I'll be sure to come back and reread your post. Iv only been stopped for a few days an I see no Ill effects as of yet but I'm sure they will come.

 

William, Thanks so much for this post. I quit for almost 11 months but had a relapse a week ago. i was not part of this community but wish that I had been before now. So even though I am not an experienced "fapstronaut" proper in the community sense, I have some experience with quitting. For anyone else who reads, I have to reiterate - what he says about getting porn out of your head - that is, not only watching it but also remembering it- is not advice I've seen everywhere and is very powerful and important. Most porn users are very comfortable with keeping a secret place in their head - if you save porn here (in your head) and think about it from time to time-thinking no one will know, it can lead you back even though you may not intend it. I think that is part of what happened to me to relapse after so many months of success. I can also identify with what he said about ANY TYPE of erotic imagery (not just porn). That is what led me to relapse. It has been a pain in the ass, but also an important milestone in my own recovery. Good luck to all of you. JS

 

Thank you for all the nice replies. It is all really about choice. But then, everything is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FToHabxSVYg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79ZFw6bO2d4

There is nothing keeping you here, "here" being addicted to pushing the porn button to get a dopamine high. If you are "here" it is because you choose to be. You CAN choose not to be.

Much love.

 

Damn, those withdrawal are real.

Like padlib said mood swings are awful (from anger to depression to anxiety and back in an afternoon). Also the brain fog. I don't have cravings because I know porn just isn't an option anymore. But this shit is serious. I would never think of that.

 

great post

Awsome post.. Have been looking like these for many years.. Btw in a site i have read dat it's necessary to keep a journal.. Is it necessary??

 

Any sexual imagery that sets off dopamine? Well, that answered my question...

This is indeed a great post, why is it not pinned?

 

I really agree, with the post. The high doesn't last. I stopped watching porn over a year ago, and it truly helped my marriage and friend ship with my wife. Now she is what makes me happy. The other element is my struggle, kinda of just the easyier alternative, but not the most rewarding.

 

William asked me to post this here. He said you would understand. He said to say help each other. He said to say "take off your chains". He said you would know what he means. I said he was crazy, but... He said to tell you your souls are vast, and never to forget it, no matter how small it might feel in this place, "this place" being porn addicted. Your addiction is shackles. Take them off. That is all you have to do. Take-them-off. He said you do not have machine minds, but you have to understand that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsgaFKwUA6g

Peace.

Step to this side of clean. I said that. William did not tell me to say that.

No haters allowed.

Step to this side of clean.

 

When I read this, I like to think that I am not addicted. But over the last few days I have been thinking about my P habits. I look (or did) P at least 2 times per day. When I M it was always to O and this process typically took 30 minutes but it was more common for it to take an hour. I would do this every other day for a few days and then a few days off. In a recent 14 day period I MO'd 8 times. That's 4 to 8 or possibly more hours lost. I am too busy, have too many responsibilities to waste time literally jacking off. And that analysis really made me think- hey, maybe I have a problem.

 

I've been addicted for a while but I always said that its natural. All guys do it. I now know that's wrong because of this community. But I know that I can change. We can all do it!

 

There is no one reading this who cannot get clean. It will suck, it will hurt, you WILL miss it. But it has to be gone, it has to go, you have to defriend it, it is not a friend, if your keep it, it will suck the life from you. Life is...fucking great. Don't let porn suck the life from you. Don't let it.

Radio Will I AM, broadcasting from this side of free to the occupied territories. Come to this side of clean. Take off your chains. Don't be a slave.

Enjoy joy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQLGhPHzxjc

Much Love.

Will I AM

Skip in 5 seconds. It's sort of what I am trying to say. I am free now. It is easy now, it is easy mode. I want all of you to be free. Free is...easy.

Peace.

I wish all of you a fantastic voyage. Get out. Engage life. Life will throw a good punch. I want all of you to throw a good punch back.

 

cool, all the best guys

 

Great post!

Especially the content on withdrawals! I am an utterly useless Fapstronaut. I simply can't stop more than a few days, but at least i am not the Fapstronaut in denial. I know it has to go completely and forever. Your post cheered me up about that.

I plan now to set small goals and achieve them, rather than big goals. Did anyone find that helpful in the begining?

 

Brother man, you are not useless. It helps me to see you out there on the front lines of this struggle.
Keep fighting. Don't give up.
My personal advice would be to deal with the intoxicants first. Example; you can't get a DUI from PMO ing.
Deal with the big stuff first. Check out a 12-step fellowship, at least once.
We recovering addicts are out there hoping and pulling (but not tugging) for you.
Through the effectiveness of 12-step groups and a benevolent universe I have not used illegal drugs or alcohol
in 20 years.

 

Will I AM, broadcasting to the confused, to the enslaved, to the guy who desperately wants to quit but does not think he can, to the guy for whom the concept of "quitting" is completely alien, to those struggling, to those on the beginning of the journey of killing the porn monster they have inadvertently allowed in their head, to those who do not think they can kill it, who are terrified it cannot be killed and on some level are terrified it can. I am here to tell you it can be killed. I am here to tell you it must be. That is why I post here. If you are one of those guys, just know, I used to be where you are. Me? Nobody special, just a guy who used to be addicted, who got free, and is never, NEVER, going back. I will never relapse. The reason I will never relapse...is because I refuse to.

The first thing is, if you are a nube, you need to get smart. If you are a nube you probably have a high IQ, but you probably are not smart. Yes, I just said that. I don't post here to cuddle anyone or tell anyone it is going to be easy. It won't be. You think you have a porn problem, but porn is just a symptom of the problem. You have a dopamine problem. Porn is just a button you push to get it. I use the word "drug" in describing dopamine, but it is probably more correctly described as a neurological reaction to the concept of...sex. Dopamine abuse happens in the brain, in response to hypersexualized thoughts, and nothing causes hypersexualized thoughts like porn. Porn is like sex on steroids to that part of our brain that is programmed to reward sexual thoughts. There is a guy who has studied our problem. His name is Gary Wilson. This is his video. It takes about 15 minutes. It is the most important video about porn addiction ever made, in my opinion. Watch it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

Next, get tools. Don't do this totally on will power alone, get some assistance. Install porn blockers. K9 is the best. If you are stuck in the over-and-over use of porn and want to quit it, make it difficult to access, put obstacles, barriers, walls and locked doors between you and porn. This is a link to K9. I used it for a while in my reboot, and it was helpful.

http://www1.k9webprotection.com/

Last, embrace the pain of withdrawals, the most horrible I-am-dying-this-totally-fucking-sucks-I-can't-do-this-I-hate-this feeling you will ever have, if you are lucky. I jokingly say, since going through withdrawals I know they can never break me under torture. You want to do what with that red hot poker? Fuck you, go ahead, I went through porn addiction withdrawals Mthr Fkr. After years, and for some of us, decades, of abusing our brain's reward center, when we turn off the dopamine spout, that center becomes....the punishment center. Do you remember how good porn felt in the beginning? Well, put that in the negative, take it times 10, figure that lasting at least 90 days, and wallah! you have porn addiction withdrawals. Don't try and avoid it, don't try and out think it, don't try and come up with something to substitute for the feeling porn gives you (there is nothing that is like that), accept it, deal with it, sweat and shake and have sleepless nights because of it, but embrace it, because if you are addicted, you cannot get from where you are to where I, and the others who are free are, without going through it. Period. It is the price you have to pay, so plan on paying it.

If this sounds harsh, you are getting the idea. You did not get addicted to porn overnight, it took years, if you want to get clean you need on planning on the "hard 90." It will hurt. You will miss it. It will reason with you, beg you, threaten you, blackmail you, lie to you, tell you you are better with it, tell you you suck without it, it will physically, mentally, and emotionally cause you pain. But if you want to get to free, you have to take that. Remember, though it feels like dying, it is a limited period of time in your life where you suffer in order to be free from the addiction, and on this side of free, you will not suffer. At some point in the hard 90 you are going to call me a liar, but I promise you, the withdrawals end.

If there is any guy out there, in the middle of the addiction, who picks up this transmission, I just want you to know you can make it. It can be done. I have done it. JaYBrieL has done it, many others here have done it.

Good luck on your journey.

I wish you peace.

Will I AM.

 

This is a great thread. Thank you Will and everyone for contributing to it.

 

Truly, I've been thinking about this a lot. My addicted brain is always trying to convince me that some form of fantasy or edging is Okay, but I know it's just a trick... This is helpful for me to hear this all laid out directly by someone who's made it further than me. Thanks!

 

It's the dopamine. Not only do I need to embrace the pain of kicking porn and masturbation but I also have to deal with my other weaknesses, bad food, gambling and who knows what waits to jump up to seize my dopamine switches. This is crazy.

The inspiration from this thread is the best stuff I've found on this forum. Here I am about twelve days in thinking a quick tug might be kind of nice. Now I'm thinking, no F'ing way! Thank you.