One thing that I don't see too often on the forum is what is people's strategy once they hit 90 days? Do they just do it all over again? I know that the "addiction" can't be cured at that point. I'm nearly at day 60 and I'm still getting urges. One idea I had is that when I hit 90 I will binge for 1 day and then do another 90. I'm pretty sure that sounds like a bad idea. For anyone who has hit 90, can you share your thoughts? Did you shoot for 180 at that point? Did you give in and start over? I'm a little unsure of what's going to happen at that point. So far, 60 days of nofap has been great and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for continued success.
Why would you indulge in something you have been fighting for the last 90 days, throwing it all away? It's just illogical. It's all about longevity, building new neural pathways and getting rid of the old. The only thing that's going to happen if you decide to binge is reinforcement of the exact behaviour you have been trying to shake since day 1. Think about it.
My goal after 90 is to keep going hard mode till 120 and go after real women. I hope I can keep going hard mode until I can get a real girl friend. This isn't my first run at this I've known for a few years pmo was bad for me so I'm too the point were I see it like crack cocain or something similar. What would you think if a crack head went into a 90 day treatment center and his goal when he got out was to binge for one whole day then do another 90 days? Just a way of thinking about it. I think the first 90 days is the hard part and the days after is we're real gains can be made.
Hey... now that's an analogy I can dig. In the past, I really have likened this addiction to alcohol and drugs. You're right, if you swap out PMO for alcohol and drug addiction, it seems easier to visualize. If I was a heroin addict, I wouldn't want to fall back into the heroin habit after staying clean for 90 days. You've got to kick it for good. I think it might help also to remind myself of why I started this challenge in the first place. 57 days ago seems like a long time, so I may be forgetting how horrible binging on PMO can leave the "user" (myself). One idea maybe is to double down. When I hit 90, aim for another 30, and another 30 and another 30. By that time, as Beauty said, the neural pathways should actually be healed or rewired or whatever happens.
That's something that I, for one, do not know for certain. I have no idea how long it will take for your brain to rewire itself away from digital arousal and stimulation, to real world arousal and stimulation. I suppose it depends on how long you've been PMO'ing. Think about it like this: if you've been PMO'ing for years, that's upwards of 500 to 600 days of PMO. And to think that maybe, after 90 days, you're rebooted? Who knows. What I do know is that everyone is completely unique and different. Only time will tell.
For the record, in case anyone caught Saturday night Live last night, Chris Rock was on and in one of the skits he starts yelling NOFAP over and over. In case you are fighting any urges, you can just picture Chris Rock yelling NOFAP at you. It would be an excellent .gif to put up on the site's emergency tool. I have been an addict for well over 10 years. I didn't acknowledge it or know it until recently but the addiction had been such a destructive presence in my life for so long. This is the thing to remind yourself when you think, "oh, just one drink won't hurt..." Back away from the drug dealer.
Hi I am not far in and I see alot of targets.I also see alot of people who seem to hit 90 days and then come back later and start again. I guess it depends what you want from this. For me I don't have any targets because I don't want to pmo ever again. I have a gf we have sex. Not all the time but a few times a month. I aim to give up p and mo permanently. If I had a 90 day target I would just pmo on day 91 and then be back to the beginning again.you just need to decide what you want in the long run. Please feel free to ignore this though these are just my thoughts
my guess is that you just keep setting goals that are not too far off. go another 30....then another 30. Keep visualizing yourself making the next 30 days.
I reached 90 days, and then I fapped without porn, and then I started justifying what "porn" was, and making myself believe that porn wasn't the naked tumblr chicks I'd see. Which it is. So I guess, after 90 days we should all consider making it a lifestyle choice and keep cutting down whatever other vices remain, and ofcourse, not relapse from previous ones.
Not ever again! One mistake people make is not completely 100% letting go of porn. There is no way you will ever break yourself from this addiction until you make the emotional committment to let go of porn for good. To use an earlier analogy, if a heroine addict wanted to quit heroine, but was saying things like, wait, I can't ever do heroine again?, wouldn't you find that concerning in regards to his recovery? To answer the OP, yes, binging on the 91st day will ultimately erase all the hard work you did the previous 90 days. NOT GOOD. What I've done is that I'm already in the mindset of shooting further than my original goal of 90 days. If you notice my counters, one of them is shooting for 270 days, which is roughly 9 months. Since my 90 days is fast approaching, I've set that new goal, which I feel is attainable because of the confidence I've gotten from my first 67 days. This is a challenge that is supposed to clean our minds from porn forever. Don't ever forget that!
I believe, that initial Goals to reach a certain number of days of abstinence are great, because they help you to get started. But I also believe that there should be a point in our journey, where we don't think in "stages" anymore. Because we need to build a new foundation for our entire lifes. P is just no longer a part of our lifes. Personally, I set an initial 90 days target to clean my thoughts and visual perception from any stains caused by PMO. But during that time, I also try to establish a new foundation in my life by chasing new goals, which I value much higher than what PM gives me (which, in reality, is nothing. The only thing it does is destroying myself and everything around me). PM is just not an option anymore. It is no longer part of my life, because it would destroy my new goals, which are much more rewarding in reality. So to summarise, I would encourage you to start setting new goals for your life, other than just staying away from PMO for such and such a number of days. After the initial 90 days, it is not only about staying away from PM anymore, but rather about how to reach your new goals (like getting a Master degree in Computer Science e.g.)!
I must post. Any thread that catches my attention. This one did. I was wondering at day145 or 163, doesn't really matter now; the days that is. Why, so many had short days counts. I took alot of them to be much younger than me. Well, I went out too! About 10 days while I wrestled w/ business problems. That was my excuse, to me. Well, I still have business problems and now I have reintroduced my guilt, shame and noticeably much weaker then i was when not PMO'ing. My hope is that, I will improve and restore myself back to that feeling I had at 3,4,5 months. I miss it dearly . Really feel that this relapse shows me the need to REALLY end this long time addiction. Dec. makes 1 year of my PMO addiction discovery. So glad I stumbled here. Revistiting MO and porn reeks havic .
I understand the question. But personally my addiction was that intense that i can't see myself using it in a controlled manner. My goal for porn is life after 90. And for pmo I'm going to go for 180 days.
Would you really want to go back to porn after abstaining for so long? You'd just be opening yourself up to same addictive cycle all over again. If you're going to give up at day 90, you should have given up at day 1. Never give up! For me, I'm building up in 30 day chunks. I always want to be looking forward to the next cumulative 30 day goal, so that I don't get caught up by congratulating myself after a certain number of days and potentially relapsing. 90 days is only the recommended reboot time. In reality it is a very short period of time. It is the first 3 months of your (hopefully) porn free life. I know that I never want to go back to that shit again!
