Hello everyone I will try not to bore you with the details but I am 38, have a wife and 3 kids and need to kick my habit. I have been addicted for years and my real weakness is roleplaying on chat sites and phoning those stupid premium numbers (mobile phone bill of over $250, this month) I have been sick the last few days an have spent most of my time on chat sites instead of resting, today i have not felt that bad but stayed in bed roleplaying leaving my wife to deal with the kids (what an arsehole!) I have spent the early evening looking at the videos on here and i can relate to the ideas being presented about boredom and about running away from things that hurt me. I know i use as an escape from the boring mundanity of my life (partly of my own making), the Autism of my oldest and its knock on effect of my wife's depression (mine too if i keep going as I am). So here I am having another crack at it! I managed to crack it for a few months earlier in the year (by blocking sites) and experienced the improved confidence, the improved relationship with my wife and kids and improved motivation and energy. My oldest boy idolizes me and tells me this often, it breaks my heart because I am a fraud and not the role model he believes or the one he needs or deserves. So here I am looking for support, advice and help.(sorry i did bore you with the details).
Welcome to the forum! You're in the right place. All of us here struggle with porn addiction and excessive masturbation. My best advice is to educate yourself on porn addiction (www.yourbrainonporn.com), get an accountability partner, and start a journal of your experience with no PMO. Good luck, and feel free to contact me anytime.
Powerful stuff Reningstone. I often worry about the day my kids are old enough to know what their father is doing and know my true self. I hope that I can make it here and by the time they are old enough my true self will not be a lie. Welcome to the group.
Thanks man, I have made 6 days now and even a couple when my wife has gone out for the evening (usually fall apart at this point). Feeling pretty proud of myself at this point and I have proved something to myself also.
Welcome, first congrats on the 7 days, i dont have kids so i cant relate at all with that but i believe in leading by example, and now that you are taking the right steps to recover from this addiction i also have, you are delivering an example worthy of following, teaching responsability for our own actions and having the strenght to recognize this and move forward from it with willpower, keep going, stay clean and take it one day at a time
Renningstone thanks for sharing your story with us. I know its a very personal and private matter but remember that there is hope! And you can overcome it! I am not a father nor a husband but i can relate to the fact how this disease consumes the best part of a human being! I feel the pain, and its alright you know why? Pain is the symptom of recovery, pain is just your mind telling you that its not "comfortable" living in this lie for such a long time, ofcourse your brain does not want you to quit! Think about it, who would choose pain over pleasure.. But wait that's a short term pleasure which really isn't a pleasure its just a way of keeping you in this cycle its an illusion, its a big lie! Break the cycle man and you break the addiction! Stay strong think in a wholesome way, think of your family! Peace be with you! -A.M.
Fell in a heap tonight but I guess I achieved my goal, I certainly went for longer than I have for many many years. Maybe I should take hope and give it another bash. Thanks for everyone's kind words I need to use this place more often but today it just kind of crept up on me. Sneaky bugger this Fapping.
