Hello fellow Fapstronauts and Rebooters.... I will tell you a bit about my story so you'll understand what I'm going through and the challenges that lay ahead... First, I discovered NoFap just recently, and think it is the perfect tool to help me get out of PMO after so many years.... About me, I'm 48, and I'm not proud to say that I discovered porn at 15 years old back in the old Beta and VHS video tapes, and have been doing PMO since then, been through 2 long relationships, still doing PMO in secret way too often, and I realize since the last relationship ended more than 4 years ago, that in both relationships, that damn PMO was the main culprit of losing those beautiful and good women. Being younger at the time, and without all the information we now have on porn addiction, I thought that PMO in secret was not a big deal, I knew I had a problem, but didn't realize until about 2 years ago how serious my addiction was, and that I PMO'ed for many reasons, and what I thought to be some ''cool'' moments at watching porn, and collecting videos, was in fact destroying me since 33 years....Yes....33 years.... This is where it gets tricky... When I split with my ex-girlfriend after nearly 14 years together, she kept the nice house we had in a beautiful neighborhood, the dog, I had a modeling shop in the basement where I worked on my beloved model kits, had collector Chevy trucks which I spent hours working on to relax, made several trips a year, in other words I had a great life, except for that damn PMO every occasion I had... So ended up as a roommate in the basement of unknown people... With the trucks sold and my things stored until things settled... So off course, being alone, enduring an unbearable loneliness, and work issues, lost several jobs due to lack of contracts and such, moved to several places as roommate, (I must have moved 7 times since 2013..), plus being dumped countless times on meeting sites, you guessed it, the PMO only increased dramatically... As often the case, being single, there was now no stop to my fantasies...So ended up often at strippers clubs, massage parlors, very open nudist campgrounds where all you see in porn films happened in real... So, to make things short not to embarass you with too many details, since two years I tried to quit porn, but relapsed every time.... Countless times.... After reading quite a bit on the negative things PMO brings to a porn addict, which I am... I know that it is critical for me to quit it once and for all, for the rest of my life, because it is destroying me, poisoning my mind, and taking away so much time and energy I might put into positive things, instead of acting like some stupid looser while others carry on with their lives... So I started last week to go back to the gym regurlarly, and today, after countless relapses, I decided that this time had to be the good one, that this time I will succeed... All the signs of an addicted to porn guy, I have them, which is really not something I'm proud of, and never thought I had reached that level. So this time I must win the war against porn. So from this day, I want to make the Hard Mode Reboot of 90 days without PMO, and quit that shit forever... I hope I can find some support from you fellow Rebooters, I know it will be a hard fight, and also hope that my personnal story, may help others taking the decision to definitively quit porn. This has nothing to do with real life, and is as toxic as cocaine or alcohol abuse. I will now focus my energy in trying to find a good woman and rebuild the good life I once had, but lost mainly due to porn abuse, which created a distance between my ex and I.... She suffered from it, and I will never forgive me for the sorrow I caused her... Thanks for reading my story... And let's keep strong and beat the porn devil...
Welcome aboard! I'm in my forties as well. It really sucks having to start rebuilding your life when you're middle aged. Unfortunately it sometimes takes loosing everything to wake you up from addiction. Best of luck with your recovery.
Say hi to lots of people. Follow other guys who have been successful. The biggest thing you can do for yourself right now is to keep coming back to this site. The first step is admitting it and wanting to make a change.
Well guys, i'm ashamed to admit I relapsed... I think one of the reason beside my life being a mess right now, which causes a lot of anxietey, which is a trigger, is the fact that I put too much pressure on me I think... Holding a diary, plus checking the days without PMO, stresses me like hell... I think a new more relaxed approch whitout too many indicators will help me... Somebody else had the same situation?
It's a good thing you are sharing it here ! When I relapsed a few weeks ago, i went on binging for a few days, and also avoided this website... that's not the right way to deal with it. Ofc a relapse isnt something good, but one gotta try to make the best of the situation. That means analysing after the relapse, why it happened, what was the trigger, what were the emotions leading upto it.. what could you do different next time in such a situation etc. I started writing with myself, and it has brought me more clarity and insight, learned more about myself that way and how I could improve. But yeah, my idea would also be to try to find some relaxation, eating clean, setting goals, etc, taking steps. You've definitely come to the right place on this website, I can say that all the best!
Well if checking the days without PMO stresses you then you probably shouldnt do it. I recommend reading this thread below https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/3-fatal-mistakes-rebooters-make.152040/ Hope it helps and hey, dont be too hard on yourself, you are already making progress by striving to change, addiction doesnr cure overnight, take it one step at a time!
I'm at day 29, ago 50, and suffering through horrible withdrawals. I haven't relapsed, mainly because of support on this site and a motto my wife gave me: One hour at a time, one day at a time. You can do this. It sucks from many angles, physical, emotional, personal and public. But once this poison is gone, it's gone. I NEVER want to go through these withdrawals, ever again. Keep trying. You'll do it. Find your triggers and avoid them. And remember, One hour at a time, one day at a time.
Thank you guys for your support... I will start my reboot tomorrow. But been PMO free for 2 days now. Analyzing what went wrong, and how I could make my reboot less stressful... I think I found ways to ease my stress level, and will use this good advice, one hour, one day at a time... And get back to hobbies I quit due to my separation 4 years ago. I know I won't have my work shop like I used to, that brought me so much pleasure, and was my escape from stress and daily problems, but at least I will get back to this hobby... I am so sick of porn and all the bad it brought to my life.... And when I think of all the bad it brings as well to those porn actresses and actors, which are being used like slaves, and that I have in a way sponsored all those years... I feel disgusted about this industry and ashamed of myself.... This is nothing more than shit, just like alcohol abuse, cocaine and other substances.... If I can hold two weeks without PMO, knowing me, I should be in very good situation to keep going...
I think the more you relapse, and all the sorrow, regrets and shame it brings, at one point become so strong that it is a big help and preventing from relapsing...That is how I feel...And it must be a pretty common feeling. I hope you find the strenght to resist your urges... They will pass if you get busy and don't let go to spend too much attention to them. I will make you a confidence...As a teenager, my dad used to nickname me ''The Crooner'' as I really liked the crooner music, Frank Sinatra, Engelbert Humperdinck, Tom Jones... And always been a huge fan of Elvis... So my confession is I always wanted to sing, for fun... While at parties lately at a friend's house, who playes Karaoke twice, I was told that my singing was good, I always thought it was terrible... So my point is instead if PMO'ing like some stupid fool, why I don't take this time to among other activities, download my favorite songs in Karaoke format, and take singing lessons from Youtube? That will be a constructive activity, as well as doing photo editing, which is another hobby of mine... The idea is keep your head full of projects, whatever they are, to help you resist those urges to PMO.... I'm now on my third day without PMO since my last relapse, and feel so much better than I did last week when PMO'ing like some stupid looser.... I wish I will never again feel that shame, those regrets of having relapsed... And starting all over.. This is so emotionaly draining in my case that it is already a reason to beat the devil...
If there is one thing I can say is you will gain results very quickly, along with side effects, I would suggest just remembering your victories. so, for instance I've been getting depressed, it's day 6 for me. but I know that I am 1000x more productive and I just focus on that focus on what is good. don't suppress anything, but remember your victories! I'm rooting for you brother! you got this!!!
agreed, and i am at this point, it seems such a waste of time and energy, but default behaviour means i get caught up will break it, as its a waste of time and energy how are you fairing?
you could become a writer.. good luck , every time you think about pmo-ing, think about all the damage it has caused you previously. and remember that life is not over, until it's over. fight relentlessly and you shall overcome your addiction.
Hello guys, I'm still holding on! Been 10 days now without PMO, 8 on my counter, and holding... You just couldn't imagine the damage that PMO can do... Since a week I had a very strong pain in the shoulders radiating to one arm, and the day after, it was gone, but now the other side.... Been lasting since monday or tuesday...Yesterday it got worse when I woke up..There was no way to sit confortably without this radiating pain, just like being stabbed in the shoulder... At 10h00 AM couldn't bear it anymore, so I called my ex to give me phone number of the massage parlor where she goes ( not the kind of massage parlor you thing about!!!), and the therapist, who massaged me an hour later, said my back was like a mine field.... Stress points and my muscles were tensed like she's rareley seen before... I relate this to all the relapses and the stress it brought in the last months... Every time I relapsed the stress level increased.... Imagine the emotional damage if my body is stressed out to that extent.... So let's all fight that freakin' PMO addiction.... It is really as bad as using alcohol or cocaine.... Thanks to all for their kind words of support!
Guys, bad news.... The day started well, but then in the afternoon, something sad happened to me, and plus the sunday blues.... So I RELAPSED.... I'm ashamed of myself, but at the same time not that much, because this relapse clearly brought to light the fact that in my case, I know I can stop porn, but no orgasm for 90 days, being single, and very lonely, an ex I dated for a month in summer 2016, who became my best friend after the break-up, and we saw each other almost daily since more than a year and a half, and was a great help to me to breakaway from solitude, met someone in january... So I only saw her twice in over a month... Therefore everytime a deep sadness gets to me, and the urges of not PMO'ing...Well...I relapse... So the only way in my personnal case to definitely quit porn, will be through 90 days of PM, but not PMO, I can see that the sex drive in my case is too strong after 10 days or so, that every time it is the main reason I relapse... So for at least the moment, I will MO maybe once a week to keep urges under control.. Anybody else tried PMO for 90 days and couldn't make it for similar reason? After maybe a month of being porn free I can think of going PMO for 90 days.... I'll reset my counter at PM mode this week. I relapsed only today, but will reset it on wednesday to give me 3 days to think about all this, what works, what doesn't, and let the emotions come down... Thanks to you who encourage me.... And hope my story can help others.... I feel like a starving guy in front of a large all dressed pizza... If I eat something else from time to time, I will be able to resist the urge to eat that damn porn pizza....
