Quick story, I joined Nofap in hope of curing my occasional ED with my wife. Occasionally I have been able to keep it up the entire time, but mainly I lose an erection upon penetration after a few minutes. I'm 30 y/o and have been viewing porn since 13 and MO a few times a week since then. I started the journey with a goal of making it 90 days on hard mode, but last weekend while sitting with my wife I got a great erection and thought why not go for it. Unfortunately after 5 minutes or so the erection subsided and I felt defeated and have been wondering if this will ever work. The rest of my weekend was ruined since I fell in such a depression over it and I need some support to let me know it will get better. Is it typical to fail the first few times until you body gets used to natural sex? Should I have kept trying? I've still abstained from porn or MO and will continue to do so. I just don't know when I should try sex again since my last experience was so bad. Even before trying Nofap I woke up daily with morning wood and I have noticed that it is possibly more frequent while on Nofap.
Did you talk to your wife about it? She probably feels bummed for you. Tell her you look forward to trying again. It should come around to you. Be hopeful.
We talked about it, this is about the worst bought I've depression I've ever had. I'm able to make it through the day, but when I get home I just have a million thoughts racing through my head and become catatonic and just want to sleep so I can stop thinking. She is very supportive, but also doesn't know what she can do to help. Right now my biggest fear is losing her, second to after this horrible experience I'm going to relate it to future sex and repeat it.
There are no magic bullets or one size fits all advice. I've been in your shoes on every point you mention. I think the most helpful thing I can say is to give yourself some grace and don't think about sex as success or failure. Think adventure. Just have fun and if you can finish, then great, but if you can't, that is fine too! The sun will come up the next morning and you can try again at a later date. Speaking of dates, maybe plan a date with your wife before sex. Go out for dinner, or take a walk. Talk about what it was like when you first met her. etc. all those chick type things.
Thanks for helping, my wife and I have been talking on the phone for the past hour and trying to come up with some nice things to do together. Your words bring a lot of peace to my past few days.
I experienced the same as you did. 2 times with my current GF so far.. When you get morning woods this is a good sign. It means the problem is in your head. You are not the first one and not the last person who loses erection so don't worry. Give yourself atleast another 45 days without PM and if you are able to have sex than have sex. But don't plan it.. don't think about erections. Just live in the moment and enjoy.
Don't worry to much about it. You're only at day 45 of 90. The chances of your ED being caused by a physical problem are almost zero, so you have a 100% chance of being cured if you stick with the program. PMO messes up your mind and this takes time to repair. I'm at day 69 and I'm still unable to get full boners. I'm doing hard mode, so I haven't tested this, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to keep it up during sex right now. Just have faith in the process. Talk to your wife about it. And when you have sex, don't focus on the orgasm. You could even make it a goal not to orgasm. Porn is very focused on penetration and orgasm. Use this time to learn to be intimate with your wife. Touching, massages, explore each others bodies, ... Women love this kind of stuff and it will greatly enhance your sexlife once your reboot is done and your penis is working again.
