Hey guys, I joined this community in 2017.... so that i could start a new and better life. At the initial stages, I thought it would e quite easy task to do. I stopped watching porn and masturbating for around 1 week. This was the first time i resisted myself to such a long time. Then things started getting changed.... earlier (when i masturbated) i don't use to objectify any women. I just used to masturbate for my pleasure. However, when i stopped masturbating.. I started checking out women (in a negative manner) and the urges that i had after seeing a super hot women... started getting more and more. Due to all this i started masturbating again. Again i was fed up with all the masturbation and halted myself to a 1 month (a new record it was). I was happy that i didn't masturbate for that period. Then again i started having urges. I was not able to control myself and started masturbating again. But from then on.. from twice a day it became to twice a week. I was happy that at least I didn't masturbate that much. But, after some time i went to were all it started i.e. masturbating around twice a day and here I am writing this post. Please HELP ME !
You're not alone bro. I've followed somewhat a similar trajectory. I feel like this time i'll be able to make it though because I'm starting to 'manage' my urges a bit better. I don't see the urges as something negative but something quite natural. It's not negative for you to check out women, it's your body telling you what it wants. Earlier I used to satisfy these urges with porn but not anymore. Whenever i get an urge now, i remind myself that that's why I'm trying to abstain from pmo so that I can fulfill my urges with a partner. Abstaining does irritate and you start to feel a lot of emotions that you didn't earlier but you must remember that this is for the good. Having an accountability partner helps too.
This approach is working for me, it may or may not work for you. I'm a 22 yo virgin. I'm from India so I'm not such an outlier, what with sex being hush hush and here and whatnot. But i really desire physical intimacy with a woman(I've identified this as the root cause of my urges). For that to happen i need to make myself the kind of person who is attractive and has attractive qualities(physical and mental). For that i need to develop myself. For that i need to have some energy and motivation to do so. If i just fap, my urges are fulfilled and I no longer have any reason nor motivation and energy to work on myself. So whenever i get urges i remind myself i want to fulfill those urges with someone and not just by myself. it works for me. tldr: when i want to fap, i remind myself that i would rather have sex than fap. And then I do not masturbate.
I understand dude. Honestly, you’re a lot farther along than I am (not to compare), but I feel like you definitely have the drive to overcome this addiction. I feel like it’s a disciple you have to develop over time. As long as you get back up after a relapse, nothing can stop you from overcoming it.
