Hello. This is tough. I had my last fap 11 days ago so I'm getting close to the 2 week mark, just today being sucked back in to the webcam app that has me hooked, where there are always women online.. Today was the closet I've been to a relapse. Only just resisted - and I know I shouldn't even load the thing up. I managed 2 weeks of nofap a few months ago and then went fully back to old habits, this my my second try and I hope it will be more successful this time. I've used porn and 18+ webcam apps for 20 years. Mostly once a day but up to 4 or 5 times on some occasions. So many hours wasted over the years, sitting there waiting to get a fix. I got to the stage where porn no longer worked and I needed living people on the other end of a webcam, or when that's wasn't possible, more and more obscure fetishes and novelties to keep porn exciting enough. I've suffered more and more with social anxiety over the years, and hope that kicking PMO will help with that. I don't suffer ED, I still have sex with my partner - although not as often as I would without PMO. My partner knows about this habit but I think she believes I have it under control, and is unaware of the scale of the addiction. I hope I can kick it and never have to explain the extent to which it has affected me. So far I feel this is just as difficult as when I gave up smoking (after several attempts). That experience gives me some confidence in kicking the PMO habit. Exercise is helping - a good distraction when I force myself away from the screen. Feeling better for getting this off my chest already.
I'm hearing you - I'm no expert at encouragement though I wish you every success. My sig says 7 days ATM, so I'm pretty new to this. Had a few close calls, I'm really glad I managed to sidestep them. Stress at work... it would be so easy too... grrrrr... so easily tempted!!! All the best to you!
First off it's great you still have sex with you partner considering the severity of your addiction. You might have heard about Terry Crews, the old spice guy, who openly confessed about his porn addiction a few years ago and made some youtube videos about it. He preaches to be open about it. He'd recommend you to tell your partner about the full scale of your problem. The reason being it no longer makes it this secret thing, where it's just you and the porn alone in a room. Once it becomes open your guilt will rise, which is uncomfortable, but so will your will to quit. If you explain in all honesty that you want to stop real bad, I'm sure your partner could understand. This is just a suggestion, you have to make that call if your relationship could endure this level of honesty. But if it can you'll definitely gain strength and it will bring you guys closer once you make it through. From personal experience I highly recommend porn blocking software, like Qustudio. It's free and brings quite the relief once it's installed, because you know the temptation isn't just a click away. I've tried to quit about a dozen times without software, because I'm proud. It didn't work but man this battle was unfair from the beginning! It's your mind vs. a limitless mountain of the most sexy the entire world has to offer... You need some software help to combat an enemy that powerful, it's just the reality of things. Don't argue with yourself. Don't tease yourself. Don't test yourself with porn "to check whether you manage to resist". Watch out for times when your happy, angry, high, drunk or depressed. Ignore all thoughts that seem to suggest that it's unnatural to resist such a strong drive. Nothing bad will ever happen from resisting! Be prepared that things are going to feel weird/off, that's a normal sign of change. Most important, stay relaxed, don't get angry at yourself for failing or feeling bad. See it with some humor, it's pretty funny that an entire generation of dudes walks into such an obvious flytrap, always knowing on a level that it's wrong but going anyway, and then a few years later cries about being stuck.. That's enough advice from a newbie like me. ^^ Peace
Top advice and very much appreciated - kept busy today (ridiculously busy) and other than accidentally locking my eyes onto every bit of skirt that walked past, piece of cake. Tomorrow is one more day.
Keep working. Congrats on giving up smoking. Put the same energy into this too! HERE are some things helping me
