love being alone, hate when someone gets attached or care me

I'm not really sure what kind of relationship you expect to have with that though, because it's the very nature of humans to love and care about somebody. It's one of the greatest things being in a relationship not to rely on that person per say, but to share your feelings and life with them as well.

 

You just said it yourself. But it's like saying all the fingers of a hand are completely alike. Someone new may enter your life or vice versa when you're in a much better place in life, perhaps? Then you're thoughts of being with someone might be lighter and purer, not related to negative thoughts and outcomes.

 

I wouldn't say people are self dependent on their lover, nor reliant or anything. its just, if you still love that person but that feeling isn't reciprocated it's just the feeling of heart break. it's more about emotional attachment than really needing them. People would get depressed about losing someone so close to them simply because they care about them, they probably care an awful lot. not so much that they need them for themselves but for each other

 

Nobody's perfect... not even a perfect stranger.

 

I don't agree with the whole giving away the key to your happiness and not being able to be happy alone afterwards.

As an introvert, I enjoy spending time alone in quiet reflection as much as having friends who care about me and bring me happiness. I also know people in relationships / married who would say the same and value both.

I think there is just comething special about time spent with someone in a
deep relationship that you can't get anywhere else - humans are relashional beings - that adds to your life rather then restricting it. Yes, sometimes thease relationships break down, and it can hurt a lot, but I don't think these small periods are of heartbreak are worth avoiding to the extent throwing everything out of the window.

This may be controversial, but if they are then you probably have other personal issues in your life that you need to address.

 

Except you enjoy things more with each other and it's because you can share stuff with somebody else rather than being alone. There's nothing wrong with being alone it's just having someone to talk to and be open about is wonderful.

Like eating new foods or doing things I used to do before aren't very fun by myself anymore, I'd rather experience and share those things with my SO and it has nothing to do with being giving anything up either.

Of course as with anything there is a downside and that is if I lost him to illness or something, I would be devastated and heart broken but that's a price I'm willing to pay to be able to share my life and experience wonderful memories together.

 

Attachment is natural, yet it is possible to love without attachment. Usually people think the two has to go together but that is not necessarily the case, although especially in the context of a romantic relationship the usual reality is there is a lot of attachment. It may be kind of rare but it is possible for someone to offer some type of caring without trying to get attached, for example you can tell when a compliment is just offered without the person wanting anything from you vs. when they do want to get you to do something.

I think a better and more meaningful way of looking at it is using the word connection rather than attachment. What is the connection? You can be very attached without understanding what makes you drawn to a person or why they are drawn to you, we hear that word and that's just thought of as a fact, but the word connection asks how you relate to the person.

Connection is also about function. If someone says "functional" it may sound kind of cold and clinical, but dysfunctional relationships is of course no joke so it being functional in a healthy way is important - and we know that by knowing and understanding the connections.

 

i think its complicated, we are discussing this on NoFap's forum, so there may be reasons you feel like this curently. that may change, it could also be your personality and nature - its hard to split these things up and dissect

all i would say is, be open to the possibility, and who knows, but agreed if it doesnt fit, also dont force it, be who you wanna be man