Powerless.

i know bruh, i know the feeling.
don't avoid this, as you relapse, remember every detail possible, as in what makes you feel this way, what triggers you, how you felt, so next time around , when you feel the feeling, or something triggers you, you know exactly what will happen, by then, you know you don't need to "discover" further and start saying "hell nah MF, i know you are playing games on me, it aint gonna work this time B!" and stop yourself!
don't worry too much bruh nobody successes without fails~ its a part of the game~

 

I too just relapsed. I know how you feel.

It feels like in the movie "wreck it Ralph", when the lights turn on and the bugs automatically head toward the beam of light. And turbo is trying his best to stop himself but he ends up getting zapped anyway...

I'm sure there are other references similar but it's a movie I watched recently.

I gotta figure out how to snap out of auto pilot when the urge kicks in. Because though i have strong convictions all day, when I get the strong urge, inside I just don't want to apply the techniques to stop because I want to relapse. And then as soon as it's over, I feel like a loser.