Ok so I’ve been struggling for a few days, used the tools available to me, but was too weak and ended up engaging in PMO this morning. I just relasped after 2 weeks and feel like crap, and wanted to give a dump all catch all post about the origins of my own PMO obsession My cousins introduced me to porno websites in my early teenage years. I was perfectly content and excited to see those images/videos. It wasnt until a little while later when I was asked if it felt good when I rubbed myself. It actually hasn’t occurred to me to touch myself so I started to do that and indeed it felt nice. A few weeks later back home while watching porn I accidentally made myself ejaculate. I was confused and surprised but I was off to the races. I must have ejaculated four times that evening and dried myself out. From then on there all of my personal free time was spent watching porno after porno after porno and masterbating like it was my job. I lost my virginity at 15 or 16 and sex was able to replace masterbation. I did everything I could to woo the ladies and get laid. The long term relationships in my teenage years were great because of the angst and constant sex. If I wasn’t in a replaionship I was looking to get laid. If I wasn’t getting laid I was masterbating. And if I was masterbating I was inferior weak lazy lousy and a loser. I’ve been with my current partner for overtwo years and we actually just had our first child, a son. . Her and I have a decently healthy sex life, but I fill in the gaps with masterbation and I always feel like a tool. And I feel like I’m more of an asshole toher when I do masterbate. She doesn’t think PMO is bad but when I do it I’m letting highspeed streaming porn and wacking off into a sock replace her. I am by no means prude; I love the female body and am very much a social and sexual creature But DAMN I don’t like how I feel after i fuck myself!! Send help to PO box 1122 NO BALLS
LOL@ PO box 1122 NO BALLS Try not to beat yourself up to bad most people have to try many times before they get it right. Welcome to the site.
Hey @Shreba1 , Welcome to NoFap. Reading other peoples journals is a big part of my program and one of the ways I "work it". I just read the greatest journal entry. I don't offer opinions or advice, only ESH (Experience, Strength and Hope). I wish I could write the way he does. To me it felt like he opened up his chest and let us see not only into his heart but deeper into his soul. It takes a few minutes to read the first two posts - but, I'm so glad that I did. The journal is at https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/155372 It was written by @weddingnails . Keep coming back it works if you work it, * L
