Hi, I've got a new mental technique that is making it a lot easier to deal with thoughts and urges. The more I tried thought suppression, the worse I was getting. And there is lot of evidence that thought suppression attempts actually increases thoughts. Then I tried the accept thoughts and redirect the mind to something else. But there was a couple of online femdom ladies that nothing seemed to work. Just too arousing. It felt like a real battle to keep them out of mind. Well .... I stumbled on a very quick and simple technique that is making it much less forgetful As soon as a thought shows up of one of these women....I mentally turn them into an ugly troll. Not the internet troll type More like the Lord of Rings type troll. A hideous creature. It instantly weakens the power of the urge or thought. In addition to changing "sexy" into ugly, I think it is planting the message to my subconscious that lust for these femdom women is indeed ugly and nastly. Nothing beautiful about it. It's been well over a year that I have found regular porn exciting. I've been repulsed by regular porn for a long time. Once your start looking into the eyes of the poor women/girls in porn videos, it is pretty disgusting. I literally have no more attraction to "tube" sites. I find it gross. But .... I continued to find female domination, (tease and denial, findom, femdom hypnosis, etc) very arousing. And because I was the one being taken advantage of (i.e. the women were dominant), I was having trouble finding it disgusting. They usually don't even show any body parts, I tried every mental analogy, metaphor, technique I could think of. Then the "turn her into a troll" idea came to mind. Within a couple of days, it became an automatic response. So when one part of my sub-conscious starts to generate a thought of one of these women, another part goes "poof.....ugly troll", and the image loses it's attractiveness. I suppose this will gradually train a new association in my mind. Hopefully this technique keeps working. So far, it seems very effortless, so I am hopeful. Because other techniques were taking every once of willpower I had, and that never works long term.
Oh....and I have actually been intentionally bringing images to mind that had held a lot of arousal power......and using this troll technique. Sort of like practising the technique. I suppose that would be called "Cue Exposure Therapy", where a new response to stimuli is trained. I tried cue exposure therapy before, but did not have a good plan when exposed to the Cue/stimuli. I found the stimuli arousing...so it didn't work, and always seemed to lead to urges and relapse. But the troll technique quickly converts the stimuli to something that is not arousing.
This is hilarious and works brilliantly, feo1966! I just tried it with a femdom lady that kept arousing me despite everything, and it instantly shut down my urge. Thanks! I guarantee it will train a new association in your mind. By the way, I love talking with people interested in behaviorism, CBT, redefining cues, etc, as well as experimenting with what works best for them, so if you ever want to chat, exchange ideas, hit me up. In my experience, redirection doesn't work extremely well unless I have built a strong passion for the alternate thought. Building the passion can be accessed by imagination and physical engagement. For example, from a tempting porn thought, I could imagine being in this Bentley Convertible... ...engaging my senses with it, just like I would with porn, but even stronger. I don't just look at this picture but imagine my hands on the smooth texture of the steering wheel, laughing up a storm with the car full of rich and attractive friends, the song we're all shouting changing tone as we all sway to the right while the car hugs a curve on the Pacific Coast Highway, for instance. I engage all of my senses, even tasting the salty air above the ocean, squinting at the oncoming breeze, feeling my hair whipping about, seeing the headlights in the oncoming lane grow large and pass us as sundown makes an explosion of ruby-orange-yellow clouds in the sky. We come to a straight section of road and I press further into the tension of the gas pedal. I mention this because having a nice Bentley, however shallow and materialistic, is far more of what I want to happen in my life than my poverty and extreme fetishes. Porn seemed to be a big problem because I don't really want women dominating me in the way I have fantasized. I couldn't really live my life that way with any dignity. So I figured if what's said about positive thinking is correct, and our persistent thoughts shape our reality, how could my fantasies about humiliation ever get me to where I'd like to be in life? On the flip side, I have felt quite humiliated in my life, being poor, ashamed to date women because of my submissive sexuality, so maybe my sick fantasies made my sick wishes to be humiliated come true. Hoping this is a pleasant addition to your super-effective technique! I wish you continued success, brother! And a thousand thanks for this great tool to put on my belt!
Hey feo1966, your idea of converting triggering images into disgusting images is really helpful and makes our nofap journey a lot more easier. In fact, quite a few months ago, I too have been practising this technique. I use to picture these porn stars without having a skin, just exposing their muscle and bones. Haha its awkward, I know.. but really helps in horny situations. I had somehow forgot that sometime back, and now after reading your post I plan on starting that back again. Lets picture those porn stars to THEIR REAL FACE clearing all those make-ups they do... "THE TROLL FACE" Lol.. Thanks for the post/..
Sure.... would love to chat. Yup. I tried a lot of thought redirection. It works "ok", but you are right, it has to be something super engaging. But thinking of a "perfect golf swing" was not engaging enough to reliably stop the urge. But this will kill an erection pretty fast. Well.... unless you have a troll fetish
My fetishes have been pretty bad but not that bad. Imagine perfecting your golf swing somewhere in coastal Australia with a Chinese billionaire who has flown you there from Tangiers for the occasion, and with a growing gathering of possibly dangerous Aborigines marveling at your skill.
LOL. (litterally LOL). That is a pretty specific visualization for redirecting thoughts. I might need to keep a typed note in my pocket to remember it all
