The papers want to know whose shirts I wear.

@kropo82

I appreciate you calling it as you see it. Many of these statements I wouldn't have made or believed during most of my 20 year love affair with porn. My perspective on my wife is a conscious one, guided by the fundamental tenets of my faith in Jesus. I won't try to do an exhaustive explanation of biblical patriarchy here, but seeing as how since before I was born, more effort has been expended trying to 'smash the patriarchy' than has been expended trying to understand it, I'll indulge in a brief overview/defense of my views.

Yeah I'll be quoting the bible a bit. To that end: 1 Corinthians 7:3-4
The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Feel free to double check my work, but the context here is entirely relating to sex. Paul's (and Jesus') teaching on marriage is that men should forego women, if possible and devote themselves entirely to the service of God. They both acknowledge that most men will find this an impossible task, sex drives being what they are. Therefore, in Paul's view, the main reason for marriage is to have an outlet for the sexual drive. Without that overwhelming drive, a man would better serve God without the distraction of a woman. As most men do seem to have that drive, they should marry.

As Paul decrees in the quoted passage, my wife doesn't have authority over her own body. I own the rights to her for my own sexual gratification. The same applies to me. If my wife desires sex, I have no right to deny her. So where you say in real life, I have no right to sex; I must contradict you. For me at least, the terms and conditions of my marriage by agreement with my wife are to follow the guidelines of the bible, whatever they may be. This grants me a right to sex. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Therefore, while I may be strong enough to do without sexual gratification, unless I was doing it for a higher purpose as a form of fasting, there's no real reason for me to refrain.

I am certain. My words here aren't really my own thoughts that I keep to myself, I do discuss these things with her. I know the average woman would find my words abhorrent, but most women are all modern and feminist. My wife is not. She is traditional minded. She likes to be my little woman at home. She likes to be feminine and to let me be masculine.

Anyways, don't worry about being negative. I didn't take it that way, at least. I know my mindset isn't the popular one these days, but it is deeply and consciously held, not a by product of pornography.

 

Fapping was more difficult. I quit smoking for about a year before, just to prove I could before going back to smoking again.

Fapping on the other hand is something I've been doing for a lot longer. I've always been a 'social' smoker, but fapping was my constant companion since I was 12. I know some people never really have a problem with fapping. It just isn't their 'thing'. But he still has something that he needs to learn to let go of. My friend who has never been addicted to porn also had the same problems with smoking. He felt guilty for smoking but had THE WORST time stopping. I would say he's had to put the same amount of effort into not smoking as I have not fapping.

Well. I hold that sex should be only inside the bounds of marriage, therefore I was a virgin until my wedding night, as was my wife. Although I'd been fapping for 12 years, I still really wanted to have sex. I knew that sex was the thing for me.

Absolutely not. I love my wife, but if when I proposed to her she said "Here's the thing, I don't ever want to have sex with you. I want a platonic marriage" then I would not have married her. Don't get me wrong. My wife has had illnesses and has had injuries that occasionally made sex too painful to engage in for her. But the understanding is always that I would be getting sex whenever she was able. As I wrote in my previous entry; in my faith sex and marriage are completely inseparable.

I don't mind your questions at all!

 

Well it's dangerous for me to give advice without knowing your situation. Would you mind telling me why you know that you'll never have a wife? During my single years I was always moving on in faith that God knew my struggle and would provide for me what I needed. I never really gave into despair that I would never have a wife.