Hi everyone, It's so great to have discovered such a supportive community that empowers us to take control of our sexuality, despite the odds of living in a porn-saturated era. Being a naturally tense/high-strung person, I have a very strong pattern of abusing PMO as a means of temporarily alleviating anxiety. My goal here is to find healthy alternative outlets of managing stress that will break this addiction. As an initial goal, I would like to abstain from PMO for 21 days. Everyday, I will do my best to journal my progress and encourage other fapstronauts in this site. As a disclaimer, my journals may contain religious content as I am a Christian. Please do not read them if such material offends you in any way. My goal is not to instigate a flame war, but rather to improve the quality of my life, as well as assist others in doing the same in whatever capacity I can. As a concession, I did fall into PMO today (which prompted me to join this site). Yet by the end of the day tomorrow I hope to present my "Day 1" journal in this new journey of empowerment. Best regards, Bonbon
I am also in the same boat as you...I hope to get to day 1 by tomorrow without and P or PMO. Religious stuff is good very powerful weapon against this sickness and has proved valuable in many streaks of mine. Gud luck!
You are among friends here bonbon, including many that value a relationship with the Most High. You can say anything of a religious nature as it corresponds to your own journey of recovery. The idea here is for people not to impose their religious or non-religious views on each other. Have you tried to abstain from masturbation and pornography in the past or just accepted them as coping strategies to get you through anxieties of daily life? In any case, I recommend you set up a personal counter with tick marks (such as I have below). They are great for seeing at a glance how you are progressing (just click on mine and set up your own). God bless: IGY
Day 1 Thank you so much for the encouragement, M15h and IGY. It means a lot to me! This is certainly not my time trying to take control of PMO. Back in the day I was part of another forum called "wet dream forum," where members abstain for the purpose of achieving wet dreams. After undergoing a few failed attempted streaks, however, I was quickly discouraged and became inactive; and since then I've never quite taken up the task as seriously. Let's hope that this time the goal will be achieved -- namely, the goal of cognitive and physiological restructuring (although wet dreams would certainly be an amazing bonus). I'm happy to report that things have been good so far. What helped was the fact that today was jammed-packed with activities that kept me busy. I also made sure that I had quiet-time before launching into these activities, in order to find that inner focus to keep me from derailing. Highlights: -Being intentionally calm and "soft" throughout the day helped avoid stress-buildup. -Spending time chatting with good friends lessened the want for false-intimacy that PMO offers. -Having a healthy amount of activities during the day proactively diverted me from dwelling on PMO. Areas of improvement: -I want to start praying more throughout the day, increasing my focus and awareness of God's presence.
Day 3 I'm currently in the middle of a 23 hr flight to the other side of the world, so there isn't too much to say about PMOing. But I will say that the thoughts of PMOing are becoming harder to control. For the rest of the flight, I will try to pray and meditate more to solidify some internal focus.
As a Christian myself, I find it helps to hum tunes to worship songs in my head, that way I always find thinking about God slips into my head, which is a great help for not PMOing.
Day 5 Thanks for the tip, Captain Kraken! I will definitely try to put that into practice. As an update, things have been extremely busy so far as I am adjusting to a completely new environment -- so busy in fact that I haven't made the time to meditate or pray. At night I've been finding myself edging to release some of the stress. And of course during the day the thoughts of PMO-ing have become more intermittently rampant. God has been helping me tremendously by having me live alongside a tight-knit, strong Christian family, as well as reminding me of my constant need for Him. In my room I discovered a poem that goes as follows: The Difference I got up early one morning and rushed right into the day; I had so much to accomplish that I didn't have time to pray. Problems just tumbled about me, and heavier came each task. "Why doesn't God help me?" I wondered. He answered, "You didn't ask." I wanted to see joy and beauty, but the day toiled on, gray and bleak; I wondered why God didn't show me. He said, "But you didn't seek." I tried to come into God's presence; I used all my keys at the lock. God gently and lovingly chided, "My child, you didn't knock." I woke up early this morning, and paused before entering the day; I had so much to accomplish that I had to take time to pray. Author unknown
Day 7 Today has been good. I finally got some free time after all the craziness of this week's activities, and made sure to use some of it to read the Word, as well as meditate and pray. My urges have seemed to settle down a bit as well, but one can never be too careful about these things.
Day 9 Despite how hectic my weekdays have been, I'm grateful that they have all started with some form of 1) prayer and meditation on the Word, as well as some 2) karate breathing exercises. After only 9 days of no P's and/or O's, I feel some physiological differences in my lower abdomen, which feels internally fuller and dense.
Day 11 Thanks for the support, phillipup. Best of luck with your journey as well! My weekdays have been ridiculously busy and tiring; when the day is over, getting some quality sleep has actually been more enticing than the thought of PMOing. On that note, after not watching P for some time, the real girls around me are also becoming more enticing! Let's hope the feelings are mutual.
Day 13 I'm grateful to say that the urges seem to be becoming more manageable. But again, everyday must be trod carefully; now would be a terrible time for me to feel overconfident.
Day 17 It's hard to believe that it has already been 17 days -- definitely a consolation during this incredibly hectic and tiring season of my life! May I continue to lean on the Lord each day for strength.
Day 19 As my milestone is (quite unbelievably) coming to a close, I've begun to ponder (not prematurely I hope) the question, "What's next?" Am I content with the amount of self-control that has seemingly been achieved, or will I push my limits and go further and deeper in this journey? And if the latter, how much pressure should I apply to myself so as to not induce internal anxiety (which is one of the root issues at hand)? While not neglecting to seek God's will, the default plan is to increase my goal from 21 days to 1 month and take it from there. Now back to working on today!
As a quick update, I MO-ed last night. After 3 weeks without an O, it was easily the best one that I've had in a long time! I realize that the "failures" of a fapstronaut are far more pleasurable than the "successes" of a contented wanker.
Gahhh....all this busyness is starting to backfire on me. I need time to pause and reflect! I don't even have time to write posts of proper length because the next activity of the day is imminent!
Hey guys, I'm thankful that this weekend I had some time to rest and think things through. God has shown me that, related to my issue of stress/anxiety management, is 1) an issue of time-management and 2) an issue of ego-centrism. As for the first issue, I need to realize that being able to discipline myself to operate on fixed time schedules is a huge benefit, not only for the work-place but also for my personal life. The lifestyle it creates minimizes stress by eliminating anxieties caused by being late, energizes the body with regular and consistent cycles of sleep, and, on a PMO-related note, is a great aid in the formation and retention of new habits. For the second issue, not only is it a Christian imperative to focus more on God and others as opposed to myself, but I believe this is ultimately also one of the keys in controlling PMO. One basic aspect as to why PMO is addictive is because it seems to promise intimacy. Well, if that is so, then having real, vibrant, and dynamic intimate relationships with real people and God should lessen the need for the cheap, gaudy, fast-food intimacy that PMO promises. Living in such a way that makes those around you appreciate and show their appreciation of you seems to be one of the fundamental synergies that we humans need as a driving force in our lives (I can't say with 100% certainty, since I haven't quite achieved it yet--which is probably also why I'm still addicted to PMO. But this seems to me the case). I will try my best to incorporate my progress on these two elements in my journals. Additionally, I have modified my counter to include edging as a counter-restart. As in most things, quality trumps quantity, and I would like to re-do my 21 days with this higher standard in place.
System Overhaul It has been a struggle for me to update these posts on a regular basis. With my current schedule, it seems that the only time I have to make quality posts is during the weekend. So I've decided, rather than throwing a couple of junky posts during the weekdays to update you guys, I will just keep track of my progress with a spreadsheet. Then every weekend (or every other weekend, at worst) I will post an image of said spreadsheet along with an synopsis of what has been going on.
