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P doesn't work anymore!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by NoJunk, Oct 4, 2014.

  1. Oct 4, 2014 #1
    NoJunk

    NoJunk Fapstronaut

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    I almost relapsed. I count only PM or PMO as relapsing. I was surfing on the web and went to some P sites. But when I saw the pics that usually turned me on in a second, I didn't get aroused. I just realized how fake and unreal it is. I just thought; what I'm doing? P is not what I want. It doesn't give me the kicks it used to. It really doesn't make me aroused anymore. P is just pictures and videos on the computer screen. And I don't give a sh*t about it anymore!

    You can say that this feeling will go away and that I'll go back to my previous PMO-habits, but I have a very different feeling today. It feels like I've opened my eyes. I've never had this feeling before.

    But maybe tomorrow is different. But I just don't care anymore. I don't hate myself anymore. I don't feel bad even if I would relapse. I feel free! :) And I'm happy and satisfied.
     
    NoJunk, Oct 4, 2014
    NoJunk, Oct 4, 2014
    #1
  2. Oct 4, 2014 #2
    Ekhangel

    Ekhangel Fapstronaut

    565
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    I too had this feeling once when I for some reason took a glance at porn after many days of abstinence. I was just looking at some disgusting blond bitch and another disgusting muscled skinhead having sex and the first impression was "what?!", only to remind myself that some months ago I would actually be masturbating to trash like that. Only then did I feel once again the enormous mental dirt I was swimming in back in the dark times of uncontrollable addiction. It indeed feels great to know that you have nothing to do with things of that sort anymore.

    But one thing from your post I don't get. You're saying you wouldn't feel bad even if you relapsed (so PM/PMO'd, as I assume from the first part). Well, if I returned to needing the trash for sexual arousal, I'd actually feel bad.
     
    Ekhangel, Oct 4, 2014
    Ekhangel, Oct 4, 2014
    #2
  3. Oct 4, 2014 #3
    zenmaster

    zenmaster Fapstronaut

    22
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    I have realized there're two boundaries you mustn't cross and you will be fine.

    1. Don't watch - avoid all visual triggers (including the written word)
    2. If you do end up watching some, don't let yourself touch your tool. Not even a little shake.

    Once these two boundaries are crossed, more often than not you'll succumb to the pressure.
     
    zenmaster, Oct 4, 2014
    zenmaster, Oct 4, 2014
    #3
  4. Oct 4, 2014 #4
    Sean5555

    Sean5555 Fapstronaut

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    That's good to know, but I would simply not look at it at all.
     
    Sean5555, Oct 4, 2014
    Sean5555, Oct 4, 2014
    #4

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