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What "substitutes" are you drawn to when rebooting?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Doc88, Jan 10, 2018.

  1. Jan 10, 2018 #1
    Doc88

    Doc88 Fapstronaut

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    When I'm rebooting I tend to find it relatively easy to stop watching porn itself, but I find myself strongly drawn to "substitutes" to which I don't masturbate but which are definitely sex/arousal related.

    Right now I have found myself browsing clothing websites to buy my girlfriend extremely sexy clothes and lingerie etc. and I am actually spending a significant amount of money doing so.

    It's like sex is the number one priority in my life.
     
    Doc88, Jan 10, 2018
    Doc88, Jan 10, 2018
    #1
  2. Jan 10, 2018 #2
    Sôgmô Gray Lock

    Sôgmô Gray Lock Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like you are turning your partner into the sub man.
     
    Sôgmô Gray Lock, Jan 10, 2018
    Sôgmô Gray Lock, Jan 10, 2018
    #2
  3. Jan 10, 2018 #3
    Doc88

    Doc88 Fapstronaut

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    Yep, I mean she is enjoying it for now but I can see that it’s driven partly by my need for constant overt sexuality.
     
    Doc88, Jan 10, 2018
    Doc88, Jan 10, 2018
    #3
  4. Jan 10, 2018 #4
    Sôgmô Gray Lock

    Sôgmô Gray Lock Fapstronaut

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    To answer your question though for myself hardcore porn became the substitute for non-nude material mainly of all varieties and kinds and it actually became such a problem I felt more shame from looking at regular photos that were not even erotic than I did from watching P.
     
    Sôgmô Gray Lock, Jan 10, 2018
    Sôgmô Gray Lock, Jan 10, 2018
    #4
  5. Jan 10, 2018 #5
    Doc88

    Doc88 Fapstronaut

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    Do you have issues, like I do, with being easily distracted by women whether on TV/movies or on social media and in real life?

    I feel like my intense need for sexual stimuli is so much that, especially when rebooting, I can be driving or walking around town and see a girl with a nice body and it's like my heart skips a beat and I cannot take my eyes off her.

    On the one hand it's a nice feeling but on the other it's frustrating, distracting and preoccupies my thoughts in a way I know isn't normal.
     
    Doc88, Jan 10, 2018
    Doc88, Jan 10, 2018
    #5
  6. Jan 10, 2018 #6
    Single Palm Change

    Single Palm Change Fapstronaut

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    I think you are objectifying her. I think you are having fantasies in your mind. In my opinion, you need to go Hard Mode. It will help after two to four weeks. Then you can have sex without fantasizing and objectifying.

    NOTE: fantasizing is almost the same as looking at porn. It's feeding the same pathways in the brain. Some people havea 3-second rule for sexual imaginations. Some people have a 0-second rule. Whatever works.
     
    Single Palm Change, Jan 10, 2018
    Single Palm Change, Jan 10, 2018
    #6
    Doc88 likes this.

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