I have been dealing with porn addiction since about 13 (so about 21 years). Though the internet was not a big thing around in that time, my dad had a pretty big porn collection and I would sneak off to my room whenever I got the chance. I already suffered from social anxiety even before porn, so everything just went from bad to worse from that point on. Then a couple of years later came the internet, which just made matters even worse with a click of a button. I had PIED before I was even able to get my first girlfriend! This made everything so difficult because I would try to be sexual with them but when I would fail at getting erect and I (and whichever girl I was with) would be extremely disappointed. I could not keep a relationship because of this and this would lead to more anxiety and depression. Back then porn addiction was not even an afterthought, so I had no idea what was wrong with me and just figured I would die alone after so many failed sexual encounters and relationships. Fortunately, I discovered ED medication and meet my wife who I was able to hide this from her long enough she married me not knowing my darkest secret. After a year she, myself, and her two young daughters became a family. This gave me hope but even with the ED medication I was never able to reach orgasm with her (or with any other woman in my life) and she started realizing something was wrong. Long story short she ended up finding out about my addiction and I could never get it under control. A brief time later she ended up divorcing me not knowing how to handle a betrayal like this. I went to a Psychiatrist and did whatever I could to get her back which eventually worked, and we got remarried but I never was able to beat my addiction. Two therapist latter, one Psychiatrist and one Psychologists (both which I lied too and told them I beat this thing) I am still battling this. Though finding noFap and discovering how many others battle this horrible addiction finally gave me my validation that I am not alone and this has given me new hope. So, this will be the year I take control of my life before I lose everything god has giving me for good, with the support of all of you .
Hi Thanks for being here. Welcome! Leaving an addictive habit is not an easy job, but .... it will be fully worth it. So... get some knowledge, read stories, let yourself encouraged by others. You are not alone in this. So connecting to others is a clue as well! And don't forget to create a journal. Writing about your daily stuff may really help you to process the issues. Good luck!
Welcome @edshady1356, I'm glad you're here. I'm so sorry for the heartbreak you've had. You aren't alone. Lots of people here can tell similar stories. We're all here to help each other. Let me know if I can help.
One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals. I've included journals from all age groups, spiritual members, religious members, secular members, male and female. You should find journals that help. If not, look around, there are hundreds of others from which to choose. When I say "it works if you work it", reading journals is part of that work. Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few: @2525 Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/147264/ --- @Visor Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/144228/ --- @Dragonnlife Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/136148 --- @I_can_and_I_will Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/138959/ --- @weddingnails Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143418/ --- @MLMVSS Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/142945/ --- @Struggle Bug Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/141911/ --- @BigDawg913 Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/145872/ --- @Sunshadow Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/75108/ --- @kropo82 Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/78164/ --- @tet2vd Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/144513 --- @Protagoras Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/109842/ --- @Tomoya Okazaki Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143534/ --- @DavidGibson Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143325/ --- @Euklid Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/146663/ --- @BreatheDeeply Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/139097/ --- @LiquidShoes Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/134044/ --- @Reverent Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143845/ --- @Former_CD Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/87827/ --- @PatrickR Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/139570/ --- There are many more, and you can discover them on your own. But, these are great places to start. This is a work in progress. So, if a journal has changed or is no longer active, look around there are some amazing journals on here. - L
Thanks for all of the support! this is exactly what i need to beat this thing!!! Sorry I have not posted since I am re-doing my kitchen and it is keeping me busy ,which is a good thing.
Its difficult to go against what your brain tells you to do, our brain constantly wants the dopamine high, Start a Vegan diet (I am not advocating for vegan food), a lot youtubers mentioned eating healthy food really helped control the urges. Plus start taking cold showers, I know its cold, exercise and go out in the nature. The most important step is talk to yourself about it, tell your brain why nofap is important and why you started on this journey. Your brain may talk you out of it, may try to kill it with the guilt and force you to watch porn, tell your brain like a best friend that why and how porn is destroying it. Dont be to harsh on yourself. Good luck.
Welcome. But, seriously, thank YOU. You have no idea how much inspiration I get from how brave you are. - L
Hi @edshady1356. Thank you for being here and sharing your story. Myself, i've been addicted over 20 years. My last relationship didn't went well because of it. Not directly, but all the 'side-effects' did make it go south. So just wanted to let you know, you are not alone with this problem. Keep up the good work!!
