just recently opened up to my girlfriend of 5 years about my porn and masturbation addiction, thankfully she was open and understanding. She wondered why I still masturbated when I had her, I was only doing it to mask my anxiety and depression, from there it just turned into a problem that I couldn’t control anymore. Long story short, while doing NoFap should I consider sex with my girlfriend a relapse? I’m currently on day 9 with no porn or masturbation but we had sex last night. Just need some advice thank you
This is your definition, whatever you choose it to be. Many of us here have wives/partners and can have sex whenever but still turn to porn do deal with anxiety/depression among other reasons. I took the O part of my daily counter and have chosen to make this to be specific to my use of porn and masturbation. As you can see I am at day 76/77, having changed from pmo to pm. You do you!
I agree that it's your decision. I think people who go full-sexual abstinence are aware that any sexual activity is a trigger for them and fuels the addiction. If you and your gf have been together for 5 years with regular sex, I'm not sure if cutting out sex is completely necessary. But remember that sex shouldn't replace your urge to fap. That could lead to a new addiction. Glad you opened up to your gf and I'm glad she was supportive.
Hey, I did the same with my GF of 4 years recently...I don't count sex with her as a relapse as the main reason I am on here is so we can have a normal sex life. If that is one of your goals too then that's your answer
Masturbation can be an addiction. When you get addicted to something, your body needs it, it's used to it. You can't stop. I have a girlfriend and still have been masturbating for a while. Just because you have a girlfriend doesn't mean that you will stop, well unless she will be right beside you and have sex with you whenever you want (it doesn't work this way). So yes it is possible to masturbate even if you have a girlfriend, and it's even more painful if you do it so.
Props to day 9 and talking things out with the girlfriend! That's great! You're also showing keen insight into why you sought out porn, that is impressive! Sometimes sexual activity with a partner can slow recovery, particularly in the early stages. It's also not impossible to kick porn while having sex. It really is up to you how you define it and how you choose to go about it, so...choose, I guess. Girlfriends and spouses can be your biggest cheerleaders, mine even did a two-week no-touching (ourselves) mini reboot with me because I needed moral support. It was really good for our relationship - even when we both failed! I can also say from experience that it is good to, with your girlfriend, talk through why you want to improve, particularly when it comes to how that desire to improve pertains to your relationship and her. In any case, invest your energy with her...it pays dividends!
Thanks for the advice guys. It’s really helpful having others guys to open up too. I really appreciate it. I’ll keep you guys updated, currently on day 20 with no PM