So I've success fully completed 90 days of no PMO but am having trouble recently curbing the MO.. I want to try NoFap in its entirety to see its possible further benefits but I'm so horny now adays that I fear a relapse to P is in my near future.. Help! I need advice on how to maintain this stride before it comes to an abrupt halt. I have had one sexual encounter with a woman since my no PMO reboot , I maintained a strong erection whilst getting BJ. But I have not , and kinda dont know how to , initiate sexual contact with a woman if I am sober.. I mean, I know how to but obviously it becomes eons easier while drunk. I need some advice and some words of wisdom at this point. All in all going to go for a 365 day no PMO reboot, so phase one has just ended and today marks the beginning of phase two.
In my experience sexual experience counts as a reboot. If you're going to sacrifice your mojo it should be for someone you treasure. You got a headjob but can't get girls...I can't see this as being a "pure" experience, do you. Guilt is the worst enemy to mojo. Any unsolved guilt cases need closure.
Congratulations on the 90 day goal. That is incredible. I believe there is nothing wrong with having sex, even if it is a one night stand. Sex is fun, or at least it should be. And sex is natural and healthy. An orgasm is natural and healthy. Sexual experiences should be enjoyable. And, to be controversial, I believe MO is also natural and healthy. The only reason people fight against it here is that, as addicts, MO is the gateway back to habitual MO and P. But, personally, I believe if you are not having sex with a partner then living without MO is a really difficult thing to do. And unnatural. I believe the challenge is the same for those with and without partners. Both need sexual relief, both need to stay away from the P and both need to guard against habitual O (M or not). I don't believe PMO addiction is the same as alcohol addiction because alcohol is not required for biological function. MO can be good, but only occur when it has become normalised. As for your relationships, it is important to understand your expectations about how, when and why you get these experiences. Are you looking for sex just for your own gratification or do you respect women and understand that sex is something that needs to involve and be enjoyed by both partners? Are you getting drunk because you are shy or because you can use it as an excuse not to be honest about your intentions? And are you expecting to be able to have sex when ever you want or do you understand that it takes the right partner for it to happen and not everyone is right for you. Finding someone right for you, "someone you treasure", also isn't going to guarantee you sex when ever you want/need, but it does increase the odds. My advice, as you have asked for it, is to find women that you connect to, that you have things in common, that make you laugh, that make you feel good about yourself, that make you care about them. With these women, even if it isn't a relationship, just a date, a chat, a one night stand - at least both of you come away from it thinking "wow! I really liked that person. That was fun". It is only with these people that you will find alcohol unnecessary, initiation of sex easier and more natural because there is a real connection. It might be that there may not be many women you feel this connection with and sometimes you have to accept compromise in yourself to meet someone halfway, but so long as you compromise because you find good in it rather than just to get laid then you may well find happiness. And sex. Good luck. You are doing really well. Be easy on yourself.
Perusan, that was a mint answer. Honestly. I'm in counselling now and quite frankly that response was just as mind opening as a lot stuff counsellor has said.. As for happiness I've found it but you're right; my mindset is still in a state of selfishness when its coming to sex.. I just want gratification , no connection- mostly because before I never recognized that that's what normal sex is all about.. A balance between connection and attraction, physical and mental connectivity working in harmony.. I was doing well before I read your post to be honest, only logged in to post something about finally having a normal wet dream as I was experiencing them at the beginning of the reboot and having them about obese women, I had one this morning about some girl I knew from high school... I see that as a recovery of normal libido, but not recovered just yet, which is why I really needed to read what you wrote.. Thanks P.s. I read everything else and I definitely agree with basically everything you're saying, but that point is what stood out to me most.
You are welcome, ccc1st. I have to say I am awed by your achievement and hope to one day get there too. May life for you just get better and better.
