Well I was robbed today.

So its the first day of 2018. I started the day strong, I went on my morning walk, did some university work, and finally started my creative writing, something I haven't done in years and years. I relaxed with friends on video games, then played some more by myself. I had a great dinner with desert and in the evening sat down to catch up on some shows I've been watching. All was going well, a truly productive and good day.

Then I get a phone call from my friend who moved back into my semester-time house today. The kitchen window had been smashed in and the TV we all chipped in for stolen. As far as I can tell the insurance doesnt cover this as it wasn't an original part of the house package, so essentially its money down the fucking drain. We all used to use that TV to relax as a group rather than spend all our time isolated in our rooms, I guess now we cant do that. To add insult to injury when I told my parents my mum was supportive but my dad was so infuriatingly flippant and dismissive that I could have fucking punched him. I hate the degree, mostly hate the people, hate the area, and now even the fucking house itself isn't safe. I'm so goddamn mad right now I could break something, so I apologize for the rant, I just needed to vent.

 

I suppose hate is too strong a word but I strongly dislike my degree (computer games design) because I committed to it years ago, back when I was a completely different person and had completely different goals. I feel like I'm stuck, I cant drop out because then that would have meant all my past time and effort was pointless, but I also cant bring myself to care at all about the work, its like I'm stuck in limbo. With regards to the people again I dont hate them, but they annoy the fuck out of me because all they do is go on about work and they never have time for anything else.

 

I wouldn't really say I dislike my life or anything as strong as that, my issue is that it doesnt take much to tip me and make me angry/depressed/emotional. I'm not very stable mentally.

 

I still enjoy games design in the sense that I enjoy having deeper knowledge and understanding of the medium. In terms of enjoying actually making games its that that I dislike now. As my education has gone on its become obvious to me that I excel at the creative aspect of it but not the practical side. I finish the degree in May.