So it's 2.30am and I've just relapsed for the third time this week! I really don't think I have the will power to do this? I mean, my record so far is three days and fourteen hours and that sucks. I'm already feeling tired and angry at myself for giving in again but how do I stop this? What's your motivation? Will being able to abstain for a long period of time, perhaps even quit PMO altogether really have any real positive change on my life? So far the only good thing that NoFap has given me has been the desire to delete my entire porn collection. I feel proud of myself for that but the internet is still a serious obsession. I need support here guys.
You just have to keep trying. Never give up, hate PMO more every time you fail, grow your motivation to give it up the more you hate it. As I understand it, every time you resist even for half an hour, your strength to resist grows even though you ended up giving in, and next time you have that little bit more power to give it another better go. Also, whenever you feel the temptation to PMO you need to have an alternative activity that will absorb your interest and will give you pleasure. That way you can turn to something else that takes your mind off the temptation, again building resistance. Just thinking about not doing it focuses your mind on what you don't want, so you give in easier.
Hi eridanus23! Sometimes I feel like giving up, and that not fapping or looking at porn anymore is impossible. I've relapsed dozens of times. A lot of fapstronauts have reported benefits like more passion, energy, free time, and a better quality of life in general. My personal motivations are more free time and a better relationship with my girlfriend. Congrats on deleting your porn collection! That's a big step.
First off when you get an urge I find it helpful to disassociate myself from it and tell myself its what my brain wants not what I want. Second don't go into this expecting anything. Enjoy the process because otherwise if the entire time you feel miserable the day won't matter. If you want to be better at something practice it with your new found time and energy. Also realize you may need to change things about your life. Like keeping a computer where you frequently relapse. You may need to change the way you think and your habits because see the longer you been doing pmo the longer you've molded your life around it thats why some people have a hard time is because they do everything else the same but just abstain my guess is your also doing this to improve your life. So tell yourself that quitting this is bigger than just quitting porn. And fix the things in your life right now that you thought were to hard to fix. You now have more time Also don't be to hard on yourself pick yourself up and try again thats all that matters "fall seven times pick yourself up eight." When you put bad emotions on relapse then whenever you feel bad you might associate the two with each other and thats not good. Just accept it and try again. The second after you relapse is your new streak just accept that. Well hope this helps just my two cents good luck to you.
Start by getting rid of ur access to porn even if u still fap this is a good start. Either completely get rid of your PC, phone whatever. Or do like I do and get a good software to block porn and have someone hold the password. Or keep the password far from reach. In all reality you would be better off taking all your technology and burning it. Your life would be so much better and you don't even know it. Like it says in the bible if your hand causes you to sin cut it off
This is my approach, even though I'm new to this. I had a huge porn collection, videotapes, magazines, floppy discs, CDs, Memory sticks and on my computer hard drive. When I got discovered, the embarrassment and humiliation were enough to make me destroy it all and vow to never go back to it. For many years I knew what I was doing was wrong. Destroy every shred of your collection and resist every temptation to go back to looking, even soft porn. I have given myself permission to MO without P. I do it on a schedule where each abstinence period grows longer. I don't think that M is that bad, in fact I'll probably never give it up completely. I think that it helps to be very clear about your boundaries before you start, you have to come up with your own. I make mine manageable so I build up success. It may work for some, but it would never work for me, to go hard mode cold turkey for 120 days.
Hey eridanus23. Don't really know how to answer but for me it's that simple : I know how PMO addiction f*cked up my life and I never want to live like this again. Seems like it's enough for me, firs try, already 54 days
Just remember what all parents tell their kids, "Try, try again" and "Practice makes perfect.". I'm having the same problem as you. After a few days, I break down, relapse and, after sobbing into my keyboard, reset that timer. However, I have been seeing that it is getting easier to go further each time, because I am determined. The thing that bugs me is that it isn't a desire to masturbate that I am fighting, it is the urge to view porn. Granted, in theory the urge to view porn is a bit easier to fight given that it is easier to control and avoid but it is frustrating because I think that porn is 100% the problem and if I kick the habit I'll be fine. But one does have to keep in mind that it wouldn't be an addiction if it were easy to kick. Anyway, all this is just a long way of saying, "Chin up, and don't let yourself discouraged.". We are all in the same boat and we all believe in you.
Thanks for the support guys. Feeling much better today! I think having experienced the shame of relapsing (several times that is) I now know it's not worth starting over again. I'm going to lower my goal by around ten days so that brings me to Xmas. If I can last until Xmas without looking at P or MO then I'll be proud of myself. Think I don't want to quit forever but this whole exercise is just to kill my addiction. It can't be normal to view porn 4/5 times a day and MO several times also. There are far better uses for my time. If I can abstain for 90 days then who knows what I'll accomplish in that time. Good luck to all of you.
Lowering the goal is a good idea. I have a 30 goal, however after the first couple of relapses I realized that part of my problem is that I'm in the early stage of reboot and 30 days is daunting when you are going through withdraw. With that in mind I lowered my goal to 5 days. Once that is done, since my hope is that after 5 days it will be easier, I will set a 10 day goal, and a 15 day goal after that. Honestly, in my mind, borrowing the baby step idea from "What About Bob" is very fitting to this sort of problem.
What motivates me to quit PMO is remembering why I stopped doing it in the first place. If there was some stimuli that caused you to come to this place and make the decision to stop I'd assume that just the thought of that event would give you the resolve needed to end this problem. Id look at success stories that people have posted as well, seeing the end goal can be as good as a motivator if not better then looking on why it is a bad thing. Do some self reflection, you will know what you need to do.
Hello eridanus23! Don't give up! Just try again! I have this video for you! Hopefully you will find it helpful to help deal relapses and overcome them! Here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdS19NsImBU&list=UU6gyVlwXwtqkn4KLjx3nDHg
