Seeing ass and tits everywhere

It's natural in the beggining,
What I do about this is; avert my eyes as much as I can and start thinking of something else.
Is there anything you love more than girls? think of that

 

Struggle to see not female body parts but people, women are people like you with strengths, weaknesses, problems, idiocies, and not some separate thing to be consumed. When you see a woman who looks triggering, think about her as your mother, or a colleague or a teacher or your sister, as a person with all the twists and turns as you are. For all you know she might be a Fapstronaut herself

 

happens to me everytime i try to go off PMO. I try to tell myself that this is what this addiction is doing to me and i have to defeat it to prove to myself that i am a better person

 

I understand man, its all over social media and it's annoying. We just have to deal with it. Divert your attention to something else.

 

If it helps, i'm a female myself. I have no body on here. I'm just thoughts and my struggle, a struggle similar to the one you're going through. Maybe, like @MarkTT52947 said, think about the complex and diverse person that you see - past the physical and relative body. The body is something that changes, withers and dies - physical attraction will come and go; those are thoughts I try to ground myself in...
Now a question from me, something I worry about, is hearing from the opposite sex difficult or distracting for you? It actually can be for me, even though it isn't right now.. I would never wish to be responsible for making someone's journey harder or acting as a trigger. Since i'm quite new to this, I would love to know if commenting on threads like this hurts more than it helps for some people.

 

Ive received some great advice in my post here
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/how-to-stop-looking-at-girls.146017/
Good luck!

 

Shoutout to @SpartanViking , has been a real help!!

 

Had a good laugh at the title of your post. Lol

I also struggled alot with this problem before I began nofap, especially going to the gym. Everywhere that I ran into females my eyes would go right away to their chest and ass. I wouldn't even see what they looked like. Now whenever I pass a female I make it a habit to not stare at their body parts and look them directly in the eyes and try to give them a smile. I read somewhere in another post about how would you like it if both sexes viewed you as a sex object? That really stuck with me and made me realize that we all want to be viewed and respected as people and not just an object.

 

Hello @Sebastiaan.

Great challenge. As I see it, Hard mode is the only mode.

I will begin with your title (which I also laughed when I read it): Seeing ass and tits everywhere.

If you analyze yourself you will see that what you actually are looking are not buttocks or breasts. Why you would like to look at something that you also have. Men have buttocks (not so different from women's buttocks) and we have breast (which are a vestigial form of the female's breast; try to eat a lot of soy bean and your breast will start to grow and resemble women's breast). What you are actually doing is checking her fertility:

• You don't look at her breast, rather you are looking at the ratio between her breast and her waist (the more this number is close to 3/2 the more fertile she is).
• You don't look her buttocks, rather you are looking at the ratio between her waist and her hips (the more this number is close to 2/3 the more fertile she is).

This first glance is something that you can't avoid because it is a factory default habit. Living in a short-tight-clothed society (which I suppose you are) it is nearly impossible to avoid it.
Other Fapstronaut have give you good advices:

I suggest you to do this in the short term. It is an extreme and antisocial way of doing it, but it is effective. But only in the short term (maybe those 90 days; it depends). If you maintain this behaviour at long term, you will be strengthening a psychological framework in which women are sexual objects that can make you sin and fall to the dark side, and you need to avoid looking at them at costs, even by going at a lonely mountain where you will find no one.

Thus, at the long term, you should follow this advice:

Extra information: If somebody wanted to check fertility of women, he wouldn't need to check the ratios I mentioned before. Why? Due to centuries (maybe) milenia of people wearing loose clothing, women (and surely also men) have adapted and have been able to express her fertility signs through her face. Therefore, you only need to look at her face and if she is beauty, she is fertile.

What to do after the first subconscious body scanning?: In social interactions, after meating a woman and checking unconsciously her fertility, do the effort of looking at her hace (particularly at her eyes, obviously), until you have recovered the factory default state and you do it easily.
Even if you live in a long-loose-clothed society, there is no way of avoiding doing the first body scan, because no matter how loose is a cloth, you can always perceive those ratios I talked before. Yet, it will be much easier after it to concentrate in the face than in short-tight-clothed society.

SpartanViking

 

Dude, at least look at her face first. I mean she could be butterface.

 

Funny, my wife is a very active nudist and since we were married we either lived right next to the one public supported legal nude beach in this country or have belonged to a nudist camp. We just went to the camp yesterday for the morning until noon, the first since thinking about it in regard to fighting fap. Even when I was at my worse in thinking and acting this way, being in a nudist situation was never very triggering because you begin to accept the human body, including seeing the T and A and genitals of a woman, as normal, like seeing the nose. LOL besides if you are naked and there with your wife, having an erection over that is not going to be something that you do.

Also nudists have a very strong reaction against sexist, pornographizing behavior, since many people wrongly think nasty things about nudists and some small faction of nudism tends to live up to that. The beach we lived near had a voluntary patrol run by the nudist organization associated with it that might get people to cut out sexual activities you might get away with 100 yards down the beach in the clothing beach.

I guess the whole thing is that the human body is a normal thing, not sexualized in the way it can become if you accept that it is normal and are used to it. I can think of one woman who has become a friend of my wife and me who lives at the camp we visit. She is very attractive and "well built" and has some piercings in places that my "faping self" might find triggering. She mainly talks to my wife about dogs and their common ethnic heritage and to me about college teaching, something she does for a living. '

It struck me that if I had met her anywhere else and she were clothed, I would think porno sexist things about her. In this context I just would not even when my wife is not there.

It is kind of like there, the human body is just a normal thing, and you treat it normally, not pornographically. We get into the "t & a" attitude, something I have been as bad as anyone else about when faping and Ming, often by the way that clothing and makeup are false signals of pornographic availability.

I thinking porn victims and fapping and compulsive masturbators (groups I am trying to leave) confuse sexual with pornographic. Pornography means "pictures of whores." The way to me is looking at women as sites of sexual subjection, or willingess to have sex without any human interaction, without any relationship even the most casual, just driven to have sex in whorish ways.

There is a profound alienation involved where the personhood of a woman is removed in this, and where a person applies unrealistic standards to those he sees as hot, standards that could not be applied to themselves.

 

Great post, @MarkTT52947, the experience you told us is very helpful. I think that it was what this thread needed, because in order to come back to "factory defaults" state we need to see the body as it is, and for that we need to look at naked bodies. Therefore, wether if we are single or married we should go to a nudist beach, camp or town. If we can, we should live that way inside of our homes.

Now, we as species have passed for three stages: naked, loose-clothed and tight-clothed (being the third a degradation of the second, and the second a degradation of the first).
When our forefathers left their hunter and gatherer lives and began slaving the land and the other species, they began to wear loose clothes. The result of that decision was that the most natural things as our body, our reproductive organs, the breast of women, began to be looked as something shamefull, to be hide; they created a taboo around all that.

In reaction, in today's society people guided by a "sexual revolution" mindset began to wear less and tighted clothes. The result? They "hiper-sexuallized" the taboos, which made things worse, much worse. What more silly things we make:

• Make up. When women are in the most fertile day of the month, their lips and cheeks get coloured naturally, which make men feel atracted to them. Doing that artificially may help a woman to attract a man, but if they have intercourse they will not reproduce...so it is a very silly thing to do, which only make things confused.
• Dying hair. If your color is black, let it black. That is your genetic code, love it as it is. As well, if your hair turns white, let it white, that is life.
• Shaving. This is one of the things which get women more enslaved. They shave armpits, legs and pubis because razors sellers have brainwashed us to think that a woman should not have a hair in her body. Maybe it is something wanted by men who have an unnatural desire to teenagers or to undeveloped (therefore, unfertile) women. But for men who are in their "factory default" state, that is a sign of unhealthyness. Let us look an image of the distribution of hair in the two genders:
• 

Here we see that the man have a lot of hair, while the woman have very little. In the light of this image, does any man see that woman unattractive?
It is curious to notice that the text on the image call the hairs "androgenic hairs" (andro- is masculine). Obviously, if a woman has more than usual hair in her body this may be a sign that she has a little more of testosterone than needed: she maybe is doing too much physical activity or eating an unhealthy diet.
Man, in the other hand, are sadly also shaving. That is a very silly thing that I don't think it is needed to discuss. I recommend men to not shave their beards and let them grow like vikings. Also, I recommend to both men and women not to cut the head's hair.

• Perfume. Another artificial thing that is used in order to attract the other sex. We need to let our natural smell do the work. Women want to smell real male's scent, and men want to smell real female's scent.

SpartanViking

 

I am all about women keeping all their hair down there.

 

Thank you for sharing your doubt. I think commenting on threads will be a motivational helpful to everyone cause even me myself do get lonely undergoing nofap sometimes. Seeing someone read my post and got some replies eventually makes me happy and not being alone. Do feel free to share your thoughts and progress yeah

 

Women should do what they want. They can express themselves any way they want. They live in a real world and have to navigate it the way they can.

Men should not be judging that or telling them what they should wear, how their hair should be colored, or whether to shave or not.

What men need to be worried about is using the way a woman wishes to dress, wear makeup, or her hair is a trigger for pornographic reactions to her, either in their minds apart from any interaction with a woman or in interactions with women.

I don't want to get into an argument about this or that aspect of how dress, appearance, etc evolve in history,. Much less do I think any male should be judging what any woman does to navigate through a real society. I also do not believe individuals can simply leap over the limitations of the culture and society they are raised in.

What I have to concentrate on is how attitudes that lead to pornographic outlooks in life are expressed in MY behavior, how it can lead to fapping, porn watching, sex addiction, and misery.

Whatever others do, what I do is my responsibility, not theirs!

This why I am here, not to judge women!

 

I think you have misinterpret what is the reason I have given that information. Women (and also men, because the advices are for both) shouldn't do those things to avoid triggering men. If one has the a "factory default" eyes, women can wear what they want, he will not get triggered. In fact, for a "factory default man", women who shave, wear tight clothes and make up, are very little attractive. The same in the contrary case: "factory default" woman doesn't feel attracted to men who cut their long hair and beards, who shave their bodies and wear perfume.

SpartanViking

 

This is a fascinating discussion. Obviously the posters are all well meaning and sincere. What becomes clear to me is the apparently VERY fine line when it comes to looking at a woman. It's important that she is viewed as a real person. Yet, her beauty is put there by Mother Nature to attract us. Where is that delicate balance? As I continue my reboot, I see women in a much more wholesome--yet sensuous--context. Yet I must guard against seeing her lustfully just because I am horny.

I think the posters above really bring to light the challenge we face because we "ruined" what a healthy view of women should be. Seeing a woman for the beautiful person she is remains perhaps one of the primary reasons we need to reboot.