A man who lied to everyone especially to himself

Stop. This is one ot the ugly tricks which mind likes to use. First mind tells you "fap and you will be happy" and a second after fapping the same mind tells you "You idiot, why could you do such a stupid thing."
Other people consider you as a saint - and in fact you are! There is a divine spark inside of you which makes you unique and most lovable. Focus on your true self, realize that in fact you are a wonderful person.

We are humans. Sometimes we are weak, sometimes we are strong.
There is mind in you and there is a heart in you. It was your heart which brought you here. Now grap the chance to get rid of addiction. You want it and you can do it. The community will support you.

I don't feel to be a religious person. My religion is very simple, my religion is kindness (just like the Dalai Lama says). But I like to say these words to you: GOD LOVES YOU - HE DOESN't JUDGE YOU.
The only sin I know is wasting time. Join the community, encourage other fapstronauts and you will make very good use of your time.

Good luck!

 

Welcome to the forum. Many of us have lived a so-called religious life in public but carried out this secret life while at home. This double life can go on for only so long before it eats us alive. Being religious and living a hypocritical life adds another layer of shame to our burden. I too engage in a house-to-house ministry and was deeply shamed by what I was preaching and what I was doing. Part of the process of getting better involved talking to the elders in my congregation and having some of my responsibilities taken away. I needed that as part of my rock-bottom moment. I needed to confess and start serving God with a clean conscience again. If you're from the same background as me then drop me a line and we'll chat.

 

Despite of being an atheist I feel your pain !
But don't cut yourself short you are a college student who can potentially change the world & to top it off a preacher !? Wow you have the power to change people's lives for the good my friend
I am here for you in this journey
Cheers to success !

 

Do not doubt the mercy of He who didn't spare His own Son for our sins past-present-future ! Read from Acts to Hebrew for salvation of our generation, especially Romans, Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians also.

 

Yep. I was guilty of this. I didn't want to be hypocritical. I more went through many cycles of repentance and relapse. And, I hope I wasn't snobbish on others in their problems. Nevertheless, it would have surprised many people to know the depth of my struggles. I'm sure everyone else has their things they're not proud of.

The important thing is, when recovery really sets in, you can reclaim all honor and work on personal issues that are a lot less "ugly" in public perception. Keep working on it, and recovery will happen the same for you as it has for many others!

 

Hey! I'm a christian too, I feel you. But remember that us being christians or not, no one is perfect. Everyone has an achilles heel. It could be anything! Even if porn sounds so filthy, it's not worse than anything else. I believe in you! Start by knowing your weak spots, being true to yourself. Even if praying and God can help you, you also need to remember that this is biological. You need to break habits in your body yourself too. Open up yourself to someone you trust, get some one to check on you from time to time.

You can do it! It will be your testimony in the end!

 

Dude! You got this. You’ve already made a crucial step in the right direction: you’ve joined a community where you can be open and honest about your struggle, can be held accountable, and encouraged! You’re on the path to kicking this addiction to the curb! I’m praying you’ll stay vigilant.