2nd post on the forum. If you've read my first, you know that I discovered I have PIED after I couldn't get it up the first time we got in bed together. I'm seeing her this Saturday and there was no way I had enough time to get rid of my ED before then. I panicked and told her I have winter depression and that I'm going to see a doctor for it. Winter depression causes depression (duh) and ED (low dopamine) so my symptoms would match and i wouldnt have to tell her the truth. She was super supportive about it and now I can't stop wondering if I had just told her the truth maybe she would have been okay with it. I don't really know where I'm going with this question but I just wanted to get it off my chest. Also, did I make the right choice? Losing her would have devastated me for sure.
I suffer from sED, too. As a young man, being weak seems like it's the end of the world. It's not, though. We're all humans, and we all struggle. One thing I can tell you is, as you get older, you realize everyone is the same. Strength and machismo are only affluent on TV and in fantasy, just like the backlash models face these days. These representations aren't indicative of real society. You don't have to be Conan the Barbarian to get laid and make a woman love you, you just need to be you. Strength comes from being able to discern and deal with your weaknesses. You don't go to the gym and squat 315 your first day, you've got to build. Who knows, she may even like your honesty. Most guys these days seem pretty retarded. You pass in my book, brah.
I dont know how fond others will be of my advice but it is what it is. Im on a streak too and met a girl i really like. Shes been really cool but i have suffered from pied for the last 5 girls in a row and its been the biggest cause of depression in my life. With her i can get some blood in there but its not quite where its good enough. Anyways my point is i got tadalafil from irondragon.com and it works wonders. Its ed meds you can get without a prescription. I plan on taking it for only 2 months until my brain is completely geared toward this activity and then i wont want it or need it anymore. The website is safe and you can find hundreds of reviews on it like i did before i made the decision. For me it is a good decision. If you can afford to wait i would but if the pressure is on like it was for me this is my recomendation.
Just a thought... but why not own your ED and get good with foreplay, a dildo and a vibrator? Think about it... she’s probably nervous as hell, too! So, don’t force it. When you get her alone, tell her you’re nervous and want to go slow. Tell her she’s beautiful naked. Make her the center of your attention and learn how to blow her mind with your tongue. I’m sure she’ll love your honesty more than the orgasms you’ll give her... and then everyone’s happy
So, you have lied to the person you love more than anyone else. That is not good. A relationship should be built on trust.
Dating is difficult when you are doing a nofap reboot. A few months ago I met a girl we tried to have sex but back then I was flatlined I could not get it up at all. I told her it was probably the alcohol and I was also tired and stressed about my job. I don’t know if she believed it or not she probably thought I was not attracted to her... Anyway she stopped talking to me it was only a one night stand. Maybe it would have been different if I told her the truth who knows. I had two dates with another girl a few months ago prior to this new 90 day reboot. I ended it because I knew I wouldn’t be able to get it up during sex flatlined again. I told her I was depressed which was true and I was in a bad job at the time. She still wanted to have a relationship even though I felt like I wasn’t ready for it. My point is it’s better to tell the truth instead of lying about it. Maybe she will accept you for who you are and you both work through it. Maybe it does not work out but then that’s life. You will meet another girl. Better to know how she feels instead of her finding out later which kills the relationship because she finds out you lied to her from the start.
Lying because you’re shy doesn’t mean you’re a fraud. Part of a relationship is that it should be organic and fun. To me, it doesn’t seem like you’re having fun. You seem stressed out. How about you take a completely shocking approach: tell her that you don’t hook up until you feel ready. Flip the script. You won’t have to put yourself too far out there by “revealing your demons.” You’ll show yourself as confident and in-control. And you’ll encourage her to do more of the chasing.
My point with my suggestion wasn’t to encourage you to be deceptive. I just want you to show yourself in the best possible light. I like to always try to focus on 1) the present moment and 2) an idea on how to help fix the issue. I try to always be open to other ideas; and, by stating a possible solution, at least I’m giving a suggestion... I’m an active participant.
This. WOmen often say they want a man to be "vulnerable". What isn't said is they want men better than them to be "vulnerable". Then she feels like "ahhh, he really DOES need me". Men she perceives to be on the same level or lower than her, however, won't appear "vulnerable". They'll appear weak. Take a small bit of V (and I mean SMALL, like 3mg out of a 100mg pill) with you so you can rail her brains in next time, if there is a next time. Taper off as rebooting works its magic and you hopefully find this girl unconsciously attractive to fuck at some point.
