Fairly easy so far. Being on a forum helps big time motivation wise. Been busy at work lately which is helping too. Christmas period will be a big challenge because of a lot of free time, if I manage to get to that point. I noticed how increasingly sexual I look at women. Hopefully that energy will flower if not wasted on moment of pleasure.
A longtime whose sobriety and integrity I deeply respect said this regarding my own question about urges and impulses going away: "It's not that they go away, exactly. What happens in recovery is we learn that we do not have to act on them. This is true freedom."
9 Days Wish I could say I was doing better. I wish life was easier how ever not always the case as we all know. However I have continued to be on this streak cause its so important to me but really need to find other ways of relieving stress cause I haven't yet. I refuse to PMO though. 9 Down 81 to go!
30 days completed ... Had urges yesterday ... Had control over them ... Found out more I deviate from my work... More these things come up ... Will Just Keep going ...
I assure you ... It will get good only ... Keep working on things you want to achieve ... Building up healthy habits ...
Day (3)/(90) Edgeing last night!! How to deal with edging? It is first time since 33 days, is it a relapse?
I would call it a slip rather than a relapse. In my opinion, relapse is completing the whole PMO ritual. The fact that you did not complete the ritual is a good thing. It also depends what your goals are. Does it include 100% no masturbation? From my experience edging can lead to a full relapse in the days to come. Please be careful
Day 7- Feeling good this morning. I got a good night's sleep and feeling energetic. Hope this day will be great
When I relapsed at 49 days (for 8 minutes mind you), my sex therapist made me described my feelings just before I used porn. What was I feeling? Why did I need to act of it? How did my brain trick me in thinking that porn would solve my problem I was having at the time. While I was viewing, did I feel that my problem was still present in my mind. Was viewing content helping me resolve my issues? Why didn't I stop before completing? What was stopping me from regaining control mid-way through? Answering all these questions made me feel so uncomfortable but at the same time made me feel like my actions were so frivolous. Porn wasn't solving my business issues, my lack of money or whether or not I was able to pay the payroll that week. Porn was just a response to stress and a way to hide. That was for me. Be frank and try to answer those questions in order to give something for your brain to think about. Give yourself a new thought process to deal with your stressor. Good luck... Lately, my mind plays tricks on me at night and I start wondering if my junk will work when called upon. My mind tells me to just test it. When daytime comes, I am glad that I didn't act and feel so foolish that I was close, or that I listen to that "track" in my thoughts. But saying it out loud in daytime, or writing it out right here, helps reassure me that everything will be just fine. Just trust the process... Stay strong everyone... Another day done.