Hi ! I’m a 16 year old boy . I’ve been struggling for a long tine with depression . Somehow , I’ve managed to get an 18 year old girlfriend ( we’ve been togehter for 3 months ) . She’s way smarter than me and superrior in every way possible . The point is that she’s had so much sex since she was 16 , that now she’s kinda bored of it , but she tells me all the time about all the guys she’s had sex with . We’ve did our share of perverted things , but never had sex and she doesn’t seem that she would like to have in the near future . We have an open relationship , so , in theory , I could have sex with someome else . But I’m not able to do it , because I hate myself => I have no self esteem => no girl is attracted to guys who have no self esteem . I do all I can to boost up my self esteem , but nothing works . And worse , I’ve become addicted to the dopamine released from masturbating too much , so now I’m even sadder . And I don’t know how to stop masturbating : I do it al least 5 times a day . Could you help me ?
You are putting her on a pedestal like she is way smarter and experienced than you are. And you are talking about being in an open relationship but you guys never had sex. I hate to break it to you but it sounds like you are lying to yourself. Maybe you could try to use her experience and ask her tips on how to attract some other chick she knows. She treats you like a friend, so consider she is no more than a friend. As for the rest of your post, you said you are doing everything you can while keepin masturbating 5 times a day. Don't you think there is some contradiction here? Anyway it's great that you have acknowledged part of the issue. You'll need to see the big picture in order to quit: what is this compulsive masturbation habit going to bring you? What could happen if you reduced or even stopped it to reboot?
Have you talked to her about sex? If you've never explicitly had a conversation about it, then that's definitely something you two need to do together. Also, why are you in an open relationship? Is that something both of you want or just what she wants?
You don't need self esteem, you need self respect. Do stuff that would make you respect yourself. Then you'll also have self esteem. Sign up for self-defence (not martial art) classes, learn to protect yourself and others. Start doing some sport and get good at it. Learn a marketable or useful skill (programming, public speaking, electronics repair, carpentry, etc). Don't do all these, find one you like a lot and get really good at it. Be proud of what you're doing. Do what makes you proud.
First thing you need to do is to love yourself. You need self-confidence, you need to think you're better than yourself right now. Nobody's going to make you amazing only yourself. Stop getting sad and start loving yourself and NOFAP surely helps with that since nofap gives you confidence, drive to succeed, additional testosterone. Distract yourself with cold showers or exercise when you have urges, read a book. And once you get that superpowers from nofap your girl will be head over heels for you, maybe other girls too
As shallow as it may sound, going to the gym and getting stronger, bigger, leaner helped me increase my self esteem and confidence levels. You could try it too. It would also be a great way to quit masturbating, since youd feel so much better after a good gym session, than after masturbating. Good luck bro!
