Day 34 checking in. My brain keeps begging me to get just one hit. Probably because there is constant pressure from work. Working your way out of pmo addiction is like squeezing through a long and narrow tunnel with claustrophobia (Like the one in the Shawshak redemption). At the end of the tunnel there is a better future. Each relapse brings you back to the start of the tunnel. Power to my fellow warriors. I hope we all make it. - Yasin
Day 12, interesting findings have been uncovered. Some urges started to flare up earlier in substantial, but not overwhelming force. Usually I just ignore them and/or do something else whilst they're present to take my mind of them. This time however when they flared up I went to the toilet, did my stuff and BAM! No urges anymore. So I'm guessing that if an urge begins to show, I might just need to toilet? Did some quick research and apparently pressure from the bladder can be the cause of some urges. Thought it might be useful for people to know if they have any urges. You learn something new everyday.
Day 0 So today I relapsed and I felt so bad. I was battling with myself all day, deciding whether it was a good idea or not. During the course of the day, the urges kept on getting bigger and bigger (I think this may have been because I kept on thinking about it, keeping it in the back of my mind). I had a shower at the end of the day, and I was torn between whether I should do it or not. I know it was a simple decision, but I couldn’t think clearly. I made my way to my bedroom, and when I got there, I fell apart and just gave in. Once I finished up, I just cried. I sat there on the floor and just cried. I am not happy where my life is right now. I want it to change. But I need to believe first. All my life I have just been trying to tackle this addiction by myself, but I think I need to get some help. I have decided to tell someone who I trust so very deeply, and I hope they can help me. I don’t know what to do anymore as I am so lost, so I really hope this can help. Sorry for this long post, I just needed to write how I felt. So with one relapse gone, I still have one left to conquer this challenge. Just keep pushing eveyone and don’t stop. “Don’t stop when you’re tired, stop when you’re done” Good luck everyone!
Checking in. Have achieved 90 days, 51 days, last streak was 26. This is inspiring to see this challenge.
I guess I have a reset. What happend? I was editing some photos and while doing this I was listening to youtube music and the songs went from the type of music I searched initially to some aggresive rap but being in the flow of music I opened the window to see what song it was. Then I saw the video of a girl that was rapping and just sit and watched it. When I realised my D was getting closer to release the semen I imediatly closed the window but it was to late. 10 seconds later I felt that I couldn`t keep my semen in anymore (I tried) and it went out. Since it was no P and no M, what can it be? a reset or a relapse?
I wouldn't call this a relapse. The old neural wiring was activated, yes, but only through accident and you showed good self control.
I don't think so. This is not a contest. The objective is to overcome the addiction, not to punish yourself for circumstances beyond your direct control. If your will gives in and you actively engage in PMO, that is a different matter. Even then, one should make a fresh beginning, a little more determined than earlier.
You don't have to do this alone bro, we're all here! Take it as a learning experience and get stronger from it!
ahhhhhhhhhh after my relapse I cant motivate myself to do anything anymore I hate myself why do I do this to me?????
50 days down! It's strange I had more withdrawals symptoms between day 40 and 50 then at the start! I battled a lot of insomnia and had strong urges, battled fantasy temptations as well! I did a lot of 10,20, 30 days in the past before relapse and I think my body got used to it that's why it didn't react that much. I got past 40 days just once before so that's kinda new and it reacts with new stronger symptoms! I guess everybody different but it's not too comfortable right now!