Everyday I have a habit of counting the day I'm on in my head every morning/night. I think this is what has often caused me to relapse in the past. Hopefully I can get to a point where I check my counter only every few weeks or a month or so. At that point I think NoFap would have became a lifestyle rather than a challenge. If anyone has tips on how to stop thinking about days, that would be appreciated.
To stop counting days is a goal I'm working on too. A tip is to maybe spend less time on the forums. The forums, and this site in general can only help us so much. The more time you spend on browsing NoFap; the more counter productive it becomes, or at least this is from personal experience. Another thing to look at is how your using your time. This is a big problem for me as I could be using my time much more productively. What are your main goals in life? (rhetorical question btw) if the forums, and how you use the time you conflict, then you might vary well need to reevaluate your current situation, and find a way to make it work. Maybe a really simple, yet obvious way to make it into a lifestyle is to take down your day counter. I personally haven't done this, I guess I'm a bit hypocritical. You don't need to do any of this, but they are options for you, and I hope I've helped out.
Heres the truth: You have too much time on your hands. If you have all this time to be thinking about what day your on, your not doing enough in your day. Get another job, do more activities, sign up for a sport, etc. No excuses Mateo
This is a bit obsessive/ compulsive and rooted no doubt in your addiction. As the biological urge weakens, you want your the self-conscious awareness of your streak to also weaken [the mind is not detached from the body, but intimately interlinked]. Unfortunately, the counter serves to re-inforce this self-consciousness. Getting into a cycle of lapses can be regressive insofar as you are focused on the number... it can short-circuit your progress. If the relapse comes, you should instead focus on the process... that you are using less frequently and not bingeing for example. When you are getting onto the way toward a full recovery, you should be able to go for a few days without either feeling the urge, or thinking about the fact that you are not feeling the urge. You mind should move on to other things.
Quit your counter and write down in some secret place date of your last relapse, do it in place where you will not be able to constantly see it.
Thank you for your reply. I can't even get one job cause the age to legally work is 16 in my state (I'm 15 1/2 atm). I currently play soccer and practices are twice a week. Games are every Saturday. I am also part of my school's Esports club which has meets every 2 weeks from 3pm to 5pm. I will definitely try to study harder in school cause even with my activities I still have about 3-5 hours of free time on a weekday. Only 1-1.5 of those hours are spent on homework/studying on a weekday. So yeah I should definitely manage my time better...
I did write down a date back in August but I didn't put it in a good hiding place... I should go fix that real quick.
What I've found most successful is tracking total use over ninety day periods. So for example, let's say from January 1st to March 31st, I intentionally looked at porn 8 times and masturbated 5 times. My goal from the beginning of April to the end of June will therefore be to intentionally look at porn fewer than 8 times and masturbate fewer than 5 times. Obviously, the goal is to totally abstain, but even if I fail to do that, I'll know I'm making progress if my numbers consistently go down over these ninety day periods. The main reason I approach it like this is to avoid the post-relapse depression where I say, "Oh, I broke my streak. All that hard work for nothing. I might as well go on a week-long porn binge until I start my next streak." I've found it works well, so it might be worth a shot.
I had this issue in my last streak. The first few days go very quickly but then when you suffer the urges the days go very slowly. This means you are actually having a lot of free time that you don't know what to do with. Don't check the forums. Do anything you like when you're bored. Pursue a hobby, read a novel, complete some work while listening to music. Just do something which helps you to spend your time and improves your life. You'll stop counting when you start living It's important to focus on nofap for the first few days but then start to focus on your life too. It's the main reason you started nofap in the first place. Good luck!
