Hi guys, I am few days into no PM. I've also had sex with my wife few nights back with no much luck. Anyway, I guess I am starting to get small urges. Like for a blink of a second. Than it's ok. Bit there it comes again. And this feels more close to the time that I would go to take care of myself. My main question here is: is it ok if my wife helps with my urges bringing me to O, or is it better to fight it back without any help? MOST IMPORTANT THING: I don't actualy want to have sex, but I feel like releasing the "pressure". Thanks for your thoughts!
It's not relapse if you have sex with your wife or if she fap your "tool". What is your goal, why you don't fap?
My goal is to get back my ability to get full erections and get my libido back... Wouldn't this interfere with it? It's a strange urge though.
I am also married. It's ok to have sex cuddling and fun with your partner. All have different goals. You cannot compare to what a 19 year old is doing as his goals and life are different. You don't have to torture yourself. But to get full elections and all you will need a long time of celibacy. Do not ejaculate. Semen retention will give lot of energy. Not saying this from some internet article. I have experienced in 38 days. The culprit is porn and self molestation with or without porn. This is my personal view.
Rise and Shine, could share your goals and could you tell more about the improvements during your journey? I would realy likento hear it.
It is your call. Almost any sexual experience with your wife will help strengthen your progress from P to reality and strengthen your bond with her. On the other hand, your brain will reboot faster without any sexual stimulus. You have to find your best path. It will probably involve occasional negotiated conjugal activity. It is awesome that you are working together on this!
Having sex with your wife AS LONG AS YOU DO NOT FANTASIZE ABOUT OTHER WOMEN/PORN will help rewire your brain to normal healthy sex with her. But if you use her as a masturbatory aid, that defeats the purpose of nofap.
I am married too and I understand what you are feeling. The problem is that you are thinking you only have two options, solve the problem by yourself or have help. The truth though is you have at least 3 options. 1. Solve the problem by yourself 2. Solve the problem with help you want 3. Solve the problem with the help and solutions you and your wife create My wife has helped me tremendously and not in the way that I expected. I want to fulfill all of her affections and desires, not just her sexual ones, and I want her to do the same for me. When we talk openly and honestly, we come up with solutions to be that for each other. The other day was a big step for me because I told her about nofap.com and the forums that she could look through regarding spouses. I want her to benefit from this site in the same way that I have. So to answer your question, based on what you are trying to accomplish, I would have to say yes, it is wrong. But only because it's not working towards the progress you are trying to make. Let me know what you think.
Hello to our married bros in this thread. As far as my goals are concerned I have decided to not masturbate through partner or self. I do have sex once in 15 days. Ejaculation and orgasm is totally out of question. The reason not to ejaculate is to gain mental and physical strength gradually over a period of at least 3 months by semen retention. The reason not to get Orgasm is to stop feeding sexual dopamine during reboot. I may have a different view from our bros here, but if there is a need to cuddle love and get intimate by your partner naturally , I would not avoid it. Intimacy strengthens bond and relationships. Don't take help of wife to just fap it for you. Cuddle kiss hug etc ...it will help you deviate and slowly delete fantasies saved in your brain. My experience and what I have been doing( with positive results) My goal is to COMPLETELY DELETE PORN FROM MY MIND AND ACTIVITIES. I don't intend to become a monk who does not have sex or ogle and comment with friends on beauty. I do not masturbate, edge or ejaculate and hence no O I have sex once in two weeks ( no edging near org). Little bit of inserting fun and balance kissy kissy....touching touching I have read and watched many videos on semen retention to keep myself from ejaculation. I agree to its power based on experience. I take cold showers two times a day. It's full bath with soap shower gel and proper cleaning. Not merely standing for 2 minutes under cold shower. I have been feeling really good and fresh all the time People have actually told me that dark circles and puffy eyes have gone and my eyes are no more dim. All of us have different goals and hence different techniques. However there are certain basic things which should be inculcated by all and it really helps Love you my dear bros. I wish great success to all of us in personal and professional life. God bless all of us and our families.
You want O without sex (without your wife) but you also want her to help you achieve it? This sounds like a very selfish act. It is about as close to PMO as you can get without it being PMO. Sex for me is best (least like PMO) when i have no expectations of my wife, when it's not selfish, and when we are vulnerable with each other. This is the kind of sex that doesn't lead to porn, that strengthens a marriage, and that has no "chaser effect". Since you only have a few days of nofap, my guess is you're looking for a "way out" or as you say a release of the "pressure". These are symptoms of your PMO addiction. They'll go away naturally, if you do the time. If you do the time, you'll also soon want to have sex with your wife. That should be the goal here. Not release of pressure.
