Had some bad news today and ended up going on a tube site and searching for two of my favourite scenes. Stopped myself before clicking on them and the front pictures were non sexual pictures of the actresses. I’ve also been fantasising slightly longer before pushing the thoughts out of my head, though not keeping them long enough to get aroused. In everyone’s opinion, have I fully relapsed or am I just dangerously close?
Danger zone. Slipped up. Whether ye reset is entirely up to you. Will it hurt your resolution to see your counter back at 0? Then don't reset but also don't press play or let him out to play...not a toy you may have to come to realize one day.
Thanks for the reply. Not gonna reset because I think I just about avoided catastrophic damage. I’ve calmed to the situation now and even though I’m still upset, I feel in control once again
Double down on your efforts, it was a good thing you stopped because you're now aware of how relapses can happen anytime, dont let your guard down and never forget to fight fantasies. When you find yourself starting to fantasize think "no thanks, next thought" and focus on something else, this has helped me a lot
Thanks for the reply. Bad/stressful days are definitely the biggest trigger for me, as I’m sure they are for most people on here
Bad days, or stress are just a part of life. Try to come up with a different way to deal with them, because otherwise you're going to feel triggered quite often.
This is a close as I’ve come to relapsing. My brain is screaming at me “just do it once and you’ll feel so much better!”
You know that for the trap it is. You'll only feel worse after for resetting, PLUS the chaser affect to deal with, along with the guilt and temptation to 'just start over tomorrow since today is ruined'. Don't do it.
I don’t think I will now. The thought has faded considerably since I got my bad news but I am still getting wave after wave of flashbacks of old scenes that used to be my favourite, your brain tricks you into thinking it’s nostalgia when it’s actually poison
Stay strong! This is a pivotal battle. If you relapse the addiction becomes stronger. If you stay strong until the urge subsides your will to succeed becomes stronger. Remember the reasons why you want to succeed. Remember the pain your addiction has caused. Think of the consequences of letting the addiction win. Don't take any chances. Make a plan to avoid temptation.
I have a newfound resolve to do better after this near miss, instead of laying on the couch I have got up and I am trying to be productive now and I feel better already just for moving
I couldn't agree more. I was in the same situation as Mazdem when I first started. I would get a 1 week streak going before I would get dangerously close to relapsing. I even questioned whether what I had looked at should count as a relapse but I ultimately didn't because I stopped myself and never M'd to it. Unfortunately a few days latter it didn't matter anyways because I relapsed with M but no P. It was the thoughts in my head that did me in. If you allow yourself to think about that stuff then you are only helping to preserve those neural pathways in the brain, in fact it seems as if they grow even stronger to the point where relapse is inevitable. Since my last relapse I have accepted I'm an addict and I have now committed to never fantasizing about sex ever again. It seems extreme but it's the only way for me. Also you don't miss something as much if you never think about it and when you do get to do it, its better than it ever was when you were thinking about it all the time.