I had some motivations to stop with PMO during those 10 years. Some were related to a religious basis: masturbation and pornography are sins; God would not give me what I ask because of it. Later, with the first sexual experience, where I failed, I understood that I needed to "preserve myself" by stopping M. Therefore, whenever I knew I could have sex, I would not masturbate for the next ahead. But obviously there was no calendar with the possible "days of sex" and that discouraged me because I would be cutting my pleasure, not knowing when I would have sex. The last one was a few weeks ago, when I accepted that something was wrong with me. The dick was completely dead with a girl I wished SO BAD and had already masturbated countless times with her photos on facebook and with nudes that she sent me. I decided to look up if it was related to pornography and found out that I have PIED. It scared me. But I learned about reboot and decided to join the NoFap forum. On my first attempt, I stayed 6 days without M and 13 days without PMO, where I had my first relapse. Since then it has been 3 days and I have not been able to stay one day without M, with or without P. Pornography is a real thing, but for me it's not the hardest: masturbation is. One thing leads to another, but I do not need to watch a movie, or see pornographic images to masturbate. It's all in my head - and my cell phone. I can imagine a lot of scenarios that I fuck the girls that excite me and some of them that I can exchange photos and talk pretty dirty. My mind says it's not bad, because I'm fantasizing real girls, but I know it is. It's like I'm cheating. When I finish M, I wonder if during the day there might be a chance to have sex, after all, as I said, it is something unpredictable. But the day passes, I do not talk to any girl who has the REAL possibility of sex, and the next day, when I am facing a morning wood or a big urge, I can not find reason to avoid M. After I finish, the cycle begins again. .. I have read many success stories that tell how changes occurred after the reboot and the complete extinction of the PMO. I've seen things ranging from a thicker voice, increased concentration and even increased self-esteem and confidence. I confess that this has not served me because, until then, I have not realized the lack of these things. I have had a normal life, working, studying, conquering things, I relate well to women - despite never having a girlfriend. It seems that the PMO is just one detail that I have to change. Sometimes I have the following thought: I am not harming anyone, it is not directly affecting me (It is difficult to consider PIED since I don't have a regular sex life) and I do not see many possibilities of dating so soon. But I know that is bad and I have to stop with PMO as soon as possible.
