Hello all, I am a new guy to NoFap. I have used porn / cybersex at various intensities since I was 12 or so; I am now 60. Dec 28 2017 my wife discovered this, and I disclosed everything. It was very painful for her and I. Since then I have been working hard on my recovery, easing her betrayal trauma, and she has been working on this as well. My porn and cybersex increased in intensity this past 2 or 3 years. some years ago I transitioned in my porn lust from heterosexual porn to gay male porn. This grew to video chat with masturbation, trading pictures and videos of myself and others, with others. This grew further into dangerous boundary ares including video chat. This did lead to one in-person experience with gay adult males. I am confident that had my wife not discovered my addiction on Dec 28 2017, I would have slid further and further into the dark corners of that cybersex world. I have not done PMO since discovery 12/28/17. I have not been tempted to return to the porn and cybersex, but I am having frequent lust hits, some fantasization / memories of previous porn experiences. I have "edged" at times, right up to but not including full orgasm. I rationalize that since I did not fully orgasm, I am still maintaining sobriety. Overall, my recovery is going reasonably well, my wife is incredibly supportive and understanding considering all I put her through. I do wish for lessening lust hits, and "self soothing". Hopefully this group can help me on my recovery.
Hey welcome. Be careful about edging. It's a way of sabotaging yourself. Try to focus on your life purpose. That helps. Stay strong!