Im having a very hard time stopping pmo. It seems like the addiction shot up to s new level. Ive been staying away because of embaresment with whats going on but im better off checking in no matter what. Starting over.
I'm going to get into solution based thinking starting now. A good night's sleep would be very welcome and helpful in getting my mind and emotions settled. My 7 year old daughter has been on the other side of the country with her mom for about the past week and I'll see her sunday. As much as I miss her I'm grateful that she didn't have to be around me . I've been scatter brained, irritable and hot headed the last week as the result of the pmo binge which has totally screwed up my sleep. Sleep deprivation doesn't work well for me. Also my self esteem suffers , the house is a mess, and on and on. Anyway I have a couple days to set things right before I see her. One day at a time.
Dude most of us have had a hard time at some point or another. No need for embarrassment around here, we get it. Just do your best, buddy.
The 18th I have achieved my target of 18 days. The next target now is 21 days without PMO. I am really excited. Setting smaller goals in relation to the bigger goal of 365 days is really helping me gain even more momentum.
Got in a stupid argument with my girlfriend last night.. Was supposed to have a date with her today, but now she doesn't want to see me. So, what did I do? I started to edge to porn. It's scary how it's still one of my first means of coping with loneliness. Good thing I know now it never will fill that void. Starting over. 0/365
LXVIII. I've come so far that I've forgotten porn. In the first 40 days I feared the idea of failing so much that I actually dreamt that I watched porn and afterwards got up screaming in terror. Now urges faint, immediately. I'm writing next time on ninety days which will be a fantastic milestone. I'm pointing at 365 days, obviously.
127 days of meeting my goals. I'm shooting for 150 right now. But I feel I've already gained so much. Have learned better self-control, as well as self-acceptance. We can heal. We can improve our futures. We don't need porn in our life - there is a way forward without it pulling us down all the time. The more you move away from it, the more you don't need it, or even want it. Keep going guys. Be patient. Let the changes come in their own time, don't rush it. Much of the harm is reversible with healthier priorities and time.