Hey there! I'm a 22 year old guy, who is always trying to become a better version of myself. I don't even remember when my porn addiction started, but I think it started around my 16th, it might be because at that point I was frustrated that I never had sexual experiences or a real girlfriend. Fast-forward to when I was 18, I had my first girlfriend and also had sex for the first time. And my problems in bed started right away: I wasn't able to orgasm, something I've always been able to do when masturbating alone (with or without porn). I also slowly started to develop an interest in porn including transsexuals. the relationship lasted around a year and in the first half year I also had a lot of problems with getting an erection, it's kind of a cycle, you don't get an erection during sexual intercourse, so the next time you start to have sex you're so afraid it happens again. I tried a lot of stuff, also to not masturbate 1 or 2 days before I saw my girlfriend, but it didn't help. sometimes I was feeling the vibe and everything was going well and then at some point I got distracted and lost my interest in a matter of seconds. I'm fortunate to say that after my first relationship I very rarely had problems with getting an erection. I can go on for hours now, but that's mainly because to this day I'm still not able orgasm during sexual intercourse (only did it once while penetrating and maybe 4 times in total by finishing the job myself). Since after my first relationship, I had periods of being single and being in a relationship, my interest in transsexual porn remained fairly consistent, but I also had periods that I really craved to female porn more. I don't believe that I have a real-world preference for transsexuals, I think my craving for more and more "extreme" porn resulted in this obsession. I also discovered a website where (transsexual) escorts advertised themselves, and I often found myself lurking through the advertisements. fantasising about having sex with them, I've done this twice. Feeling completely miserable and ashamed with myself afterwards. Now I just got out my third relationship, and I realise that my problems are getting worse. During my relationship I often had the feeling that I avoided meeting her and felt relieved when she was on her period, just to have an excuse to watch more porn, even though it was the best sex I ever had with a woman. Now that I have the 'freedom' to have sex with anyone I want, I often find myself back at the escort website. I almost made appointments again, and on the one hand I really want to give in to my cravings, on the other hand I want to live a normal life and have sexual relationships with women with being able to orgasm. I watch porn at least once a day (often more). I think that stopping with porn and drastically decreasing the frequency of masturbation will help me become a better person self in the long term, with an increased amount of pleasure from "normal" sexual relationships. Scrolling through the forum I realised that there are so much more people like me, some have it less bad. Many are or were in even worse situations than I am. I will continue reading stories on the forum and go back to this thread often for the coming period. I will also start my first serious attempt on quitting right now. I think I will stop watching porn first and just rely on my fantasies, after a week I will try to decrease my amount of masturbation as well. I'm not well read on the subject yet, so it might be that after a certain amount of time I change how I view the subject. (any guidance would be appreciated) The reason I don't want to stop completely is because I think masturbation is healthy and natural, and I believe real discipline is not about doing or not doing something, it's about doing something with healthy moderation. Again, if you think otherwise, please convince me and I might change my views for the better. Kind regards and good luck to you all, Plows
Thanks Septimus! Unfortunately I had abandoned the forum quite shortly after this introduction. Of course with negative consequences in regards to my porn addiction. I'm at a point that I want to return to forum, also contribute more and try to battle this addiction once more. Cheers
