So after many efforts I've managed to hold on for 18 days without pmoing, I got past the initial 6-7 days of flatline e.g horrible anxiety, depressed most of the time. During this period I said fuck it, I quit cigarettes, weed and drinking after almost 2 years of regular everyday use, I eliminated most of the things which led me to pmoing such as sitting in front of my computer or in my bathroom for a long ler period of time, signed up at the gym and started eating super healthy and working out regularly even though I felt like shit most of the time. I failed my streak after I got into an arguement with someone close to me so I went to my room and the urge was overwhelming, like I can resist smoking weed, cigarettes, drinking or any kind of drugs and could quit them cold turkey but this is like a different sort of demon that's very hard to fight against. I didn't feel sad or angry after I had PMOd, I just felt disappointed in myself that I'm allowing this to get the better of me and feel like I just went through these 2 and a half weeks for nothing. I'm 17 and I'm a pretty extroverted when I'm around people, friends consider me funny, girls too, but when I'm alone I get too much into my head and I get anxious and severely depressed almost on a daily basis. The number one thing that puts me down right now and frustrates me is that I am pretty shy expressing what I want with a girl and can't really close the deal, so I don't have much of a guidance what to do, should I forget about sex and girls and 100% start working on myself, getting a good body and start to build my confidence&getting a financial start in my life? Should I try to get laid even though it might result into even more anxiety and disappointment which could eventually make me PMO again? I would appreciate anybody's input be it negative or positive. I just don't wan't to associate myself with the person I have been for most of my teenage life, I want to get rid of my embarassing fetishes which I created by PMOing all my life and want to be the most confident version of myself that I can be. Sorry for my rambling I just felt that I wanted to get this off my chest since there's really no one else in my life I can talk to like this.
