Well, I really hit it off with this young lady on Spoiler: potential trigger POF.com and she doesn't seem to want to talk to me much any more. It worries me. Maybe she got called into work, maybe her computer's down, or MAYBE she just doesn't want to know me. I've tried contacting other ladies but I want this first one. Am I being too impatient? How exactly do dating websites work? Just how do you "play the game" for success?
I have the same experience. I think many women who go on dating websites have a certain "criteria". In other words they are overly using their logical, critical aspects of mind to find the perfect guy. In many cases it doesn't matter what your photos look like, how funny or witty your description is, or how you message them: they will have written you off before you can even get started. It can be the most minute detail that disqualifies you. Again, don't take it personally. The exact same woman who may have ignored you on POF may have been receptive to you if you met somewhere in real life. If you are a confident person, you have a number of things going for you if you meet in real life: body language, tone of voice, all of the real life aspects of attraction are in play. None of that shit matters with online dating: it's sterile, clinical, and impersonal. It removes 99% of the human experience of attraction. If you want to "play the game", you can invest in some dating website systems such as http://www.insiderinternetdating.com. I bought it a while back. The guy has some good insights and tips. But ultimately I think that online dating is more of a wedge between men and woman than a bridge. Men are highly goal oriented when it comes to dating. We want to approach, meet up, get physical etc. Women largely want to critique us and play the selector, which is in their biology to do so. But online dating just enhances that divide. So my opinion is fuck online dating and go out and meet in real life.
I have made over 1,000 messages to women over the past how many years and never got a single response from any of them. I now know its because the depression/social anxiety shows itself in my pictures. Its scary but I am here to tell you that your not alone. Good luck!
Hey, didn't read the spoiler. Just wanted to add that dating websites are notorious for employing guys whose only job is to create fake female profiles to attract male customers. It's of course illegal but very common. Some German dating apps that were very popular and seemed serious have been exposed this year. Add to that that probably only 20% of female profiles are real while almost all male profiles are legit. So you go up against maybe 200 other guys for the same girl, the girl will be flooded with messages and gets overwhelmed. Fancy that.
@overclocked that is unbelievably obnoxious of them to do that to us. Now I'm glad I bailed out of online dating... I'm not missing out on anything, am I? Those testimonials of people meeting online and falling in love and getting married are lovely stories but it's surely very rare for it to actually happen. If it sounds too good to be true, as they say, it probably is.
@L Coroneos : most of dating sites are fake. and if they are not fake, this is how it works : a girl opens multiple tab chats with multiple guys at the same time. therefore, you may not be the only guy who was chatting with her. a dating site is a toy for people when they get bored. the emotions were not real, i know they made you feel like real love, but it wasn't. i had the same experience. an illusion of love is what they created.they loved you, then hit you. it was fucking ridiculous but actually painful at the same time. better avoid this illusion shit, sir.
Thanks for the info @vulture175. I wasted about $40 subscribing to that dating site, but it was worth it to learn the lesson involved: the internet is NOT a good medium for meeting women!
Nope, definitely not alone in this. Online dating is the biggest scam in recent history. Most attractive women don't need it as, they don't really have to do much in terms of "getting things started" in real life interaction other than looking good. It's hard has hell, but real life interactions are basically the only thing that will net results. We all just have to bite the bullet, get out there and do it.
it's ok, i wasted money on those sites too, i admit i was an idiot. never thought i would spend money on adult sites. this proves that my brain is not stable, anything can happen in the brain. and this shit is very addictive, better not dig in deeper. i quited. so much pain and regret. i'm back to the present.
There should be no pain and regret, @vulture175. You've given it a try and found it worthless, so now I guess you've got to start working on your social skills and confidence in meeting women at work or school (if you haven't already developed these), Work is a great place to meet women and I am fully confident that you can meet a nice lady somewhere or other at work or elsewhere.
Online game is all about photos, your photos if girls doesnt respond you is that because they are really bad. But dont judge the girls Never take selfies, duckfaces or that shit (is that "Hey, I'm an idiot trying so hard to take a photo and also my life is not even interesting and I have no friends) The ideas photos are focusing on your eyes and not even looking at the camera, doing some cool thing of your awesome life, and then you have to know how to do the text game avoiding what the majority of guys are doing and failling
Ummm... good advice if I was going to persist with online dating, but I don't think it's for me. Thanks, though. I do need to get hold of some good photos for my Facebook profile.
Online dating websites are huge catalogues of seemingly available people, which can induce a pursuit for the perfect one in both genders, meaning both women and men might reject each other for small details which are irrelevant and would not have mattered in real life (essentially that's what @Son_of_Iroquois said as well) but under direct comparison with other "products" in the catalogue they do matter. Due to gender imbalances and different behaviorial patterns between the genders (active men vs passive women) women can actually make a selection. Many men however get disappointed because they invest in a few women and do not get a reply; then either of two things might happen, either they leave disappointed or they turn it into a numbers game where instead of investing a lot in few women they invest a little in many women, e.g. sending standard templates to all profiles they encounter and hope that someone replies at all.
Hmm. My major complaint was that there was not enough women to choose from in my area: I live in Albany, Western Australia and there's only about four women on the dating website that are even remotely attractive. I think online dating is a cop-out, to tell you the truth... there are so many beautiful women around town and it would be easy enough to just start talking and strike up a conversation. Like Darkstar said to me on my latest journal, talk to her when you notice her smiling at you and checking you out. I was in Hungry Jack's a few weeks ago and this beautiful chick was staring straight at me, like she couldn't take her eyes off me. I should've at least waved and smiled to her. What's the worst that could happen? So that's the way it's done. Meeting women at work is incredibly easy and my only mistake has been to go for the ones who are underage, though I didn't propose to have sex with them. In fact, when I took a liking to this one girl I specifically said to her that I was not interested in a sexual relationship with her. I'm no teenager's Backstreet Boy, no matter how much they might idolise me. Meeting women my own age is a bit more difficult because the hot ones are generally taken. However, I asked a girl out in high school and she said no because she had a boyfriend - about one month later she dumped her boyfriend and asked me out. Very, very flattering. So I have no qualms about hitting on women who are otherwise engaged, because they might just see that I am the better choice. I have a much greater sense of self-worth nowadays and am looking forward to meeting someone compatible. Wish me luck...
Hey man, that's awesome. Sounds like you already are doing pretty good. I highly suggest that you invest in a program such as the TAO OF BADASS. It will quickly help you become a master at meeting women.