Day 6/90 check in. I want to honor my self. I want to be proud of my self. I want to love my self and be a unmoved pillar in rightness and purity. No more with porn. Stop with this parasite sucking my life, my will power, my essence. Enough. Let me kill porn inside me and be free!
Day 17/90 Feeling much better from yesterday, had a bit of a nervous breakdown but nothing I would call a crisis Felt a big surge of energy which hopefully means that it's working again and I can go back to feeling normal I'm telling you, this NoFap stuff is no joke it's the real deal and it should be respected, it can save your life Relapse should never be an option for me because I hate throwing away all my progress just to start at zero again, I work too hard for it You really have to 'feel' it when it comes keeping those long streaks and not letting go of that positive energy that comes from staying clean for that long and also not allowing negative energy to enter your mind Have great day
End of day 18. It has been a blast these last few weeks. After today I’ll go back to binging and wanking nonstop. Bye!!!! Yall don’t actually believe that do you???
Date started: Jan 25, 2019 Day 172/177 no PM (relapsed day 51, 70, 102, 150, 162) Day 75/90 meeting my goals in challenge Day 177 no alcohol or caffeine Day 47 of weight training - no urges and as I abstain I have noticed the bump on my left epididymis shrinking and the pain has gone and I'm sleeping better.....yay! - 17 more days left of this challenge which feels good so I can get on with doing this again properly next time - stay the route fellas, it's worth it in the end
3 days. Doing good. Downloaded this app called reboot. It has readings every day, a quote and ideas of what to do instead of PMO. I am finding it helpful so far. I learned on the first day of it to set a goal of time. Not try to stop forever. It suggested 90 days. Which is the time to reboot. I am going with that. If I still want to act out in 90 days I can. I really need to get this 90 days behind me. I need my brain to heal. Maybe I won't want to act out in 90 days. I need to get this reboot done. I can worry about what to do when the time comes. My brain needs to heal. Quitting forever puts to much pressure on myself. Maybe once I am at 3 months I will want to keep going. Worked last night. I was out Ubering. Taking girls to the bar. It is a real trigger for me. I kept asking myself if I can wait (to have sex) . I was willing to. I did not act out. These girls I pick up actually seam to take interest in me. I have great conversations with them. When I was into the bar scene as a young pup I was so desperate to mate. Or so I thought. I just wanted girls to pay attention to me. Having these attractive girls ask me about myself is satisfying what I have been longing for. I felt so good when I got home and it is like I closed an old door. Girls do like me. I never saw that before. Watching myself I see that I dont believe that a girl could love me. I am starting to see that they could. I am loveable. I am not the piece of shit that my family made me believe I was. I think this is the first time ever I am willing to wait. All I ask for myself is 3 months right now. I need to heal. I see my worth and I need to heal.
Relapsed, but 34 days has been the longest streak so far, I feel I have made some major progress. Continuing with no PM.