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Take it one day at a time. Check out others journals and posts. Lots to learn.
One day at a time.
Everybody has their "kink" Just don't look at it. Stop using porn, stop masturbating. The "weird shit" will go away (so they say, I too am still...
Porn (to me, even p-subs): Anything that makes me think with my little head instead of my big head. Dopamine is a killer!
When I edge, even if I don't jerk off (or even if I do but don't orgasm which i did frequently) it would, does, always lead towards doing the deed...
Good post!