For me I get a rush out of doing highly illegal activities, or just illegal activities in general. I get a rush of shooting firearms on L. I get a rush from tripping on LSD and drag racing. I get a rush and pleasure from being in control of someone else's life/well-being. Music and LSD is amazing I get a rush from being evil. I like LSD it makes the world so hardcore.
I rather admire the truth in your post. Of course, I think your behavior is loathsome. But at least you admit it. Hopefully, at some point in time you'll come to believe there is more to life than 'getting a rush'.
To me, this guy sounds angry or negative. Tripping should always be a positive and not abused. It's best that people like him should be sober. Tripping isn't for everyone.
Don't you enjoy doing "socaily unacceptable" things? Like acid driving, shooting guns in parks, etc.?
That's self destructive behavior. If you gonna keep at it eventually you will get burned. And then you will have nobody to blame but yourself.
Which is why you got addicted to porn, at least partially. It's interesting you see yourself as evil, what do you mean controlling someone's life? Isn't the reason you're here is because you can barely control your own? Overall what is the point of your post? is it a cry for help because you're mentally unstable? or boasting? If it's any drug you need bro its weed and/or shrooms. If this post says anything about you it's that you aren't in a healthy state of mind to take LSD. best wishes to you bro, you aren't evil. You may have evil tendencies but you don't want to give into them. especially on drugs. Chill the fuck out or you may find the world hardcore from inside a prison cell.